In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
's wages always have been one of the top discussion topics over the years. Some people
argue that only small
part of the population Correct article usage
a small
recieves
a valuable high Correct your spelling
receives
salary
, which is beneficial for the country itself, other
think that Fix the agreement mistake
others
government
should be responsible and control Correct article usage
the government
people
's wages, by clearly limitate
the average Correct your spelling
limiting
salary
. In my personal opinion earning a high salary
can motivate individuals to work hard, which can lead to success in development
of the country, but it should be controlled by the government to avoid inequality between populations.
I will support Add an article
the development
this
view, providing arguments in the following paragraphs.
However
, first and foremost it is clear that
people
are aiming for success by studying and doing different kinds of training courses to achieve a high level and become the best in their chosen fields. For example
, in each profession exsists
employees, leaders and a high level of managers, depending on which areas individuals are good the Correct your spelling
exists
salary
becomes less for employees and much more for managers.
Meanwhile, by
earning not the same amount of money encourages Change preposition
apply
people
to put much more effort and work hard to become a good employees
and jump on the hierarchy to the highest level, which can lead to good development in the country itself.
Correct the article-noun agreement
good employees
a good employee
Furthermore
, people
should feel demotivated if they experience inequality from those people
who earn much more. In that case, the government should establish clear borders on that
how much it is allowed to earn and tax the amounts higher than Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
amount. For instance
, if people
earn much more of
50 000 pounds per year they should pay 40% of their Change preposition
than
salary
. This
can protect people
from inequality.
In conclusion, it is vital for people
to stay motivated to work hard, which is done by earning a good amount of money, but if that money is not controlled this
should cause serious problems between individuals, like they will not be equal.Submitted by yuzgeademova2001 on
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task achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly, including a more balanced discussion of both views. More relevant and specific examples could improve the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Though the logical structure is mostly clear, improving the coherence between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases can enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences contain unclear expressions and grammatical errors, which can impact the clarity of the ideas. Consider revising these to improve overall readability.
coherence and cohesion
There's a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, which is essential for a complete response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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