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Writing Samples
Band 7

Does being famous have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Nowadays, famous
people
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such
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 as singers or movie stars have great benefits in many different ways, but their fame can
also
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 have drawbacks. From my perspective, I think being well-known has more advantages than
disadvantages
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain two views from my own experience. On the one hand, being well-known will have a lot of
disadvantages
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. The main one is that their personal life will be disturbed. They often have to face the curiosity from the media and their fans or anti-fans about their personal lives.
Furthermore
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, unlike ordinary
people
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, their job requirements might damage their professional image.
For instance
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, Lana Del Rey has contributed to the American music industry for more than 10 years but she is still not recognized by the
people
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 and cannot receive the prestigious Grammy Cup because some of her songs contain inappropriate language. The next drawback of being famous is that
people
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 and the media often say bad things.
People
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 even tell lies about famous singers, actors or their families.
Additionally
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, they tend to be under enormous pressure from the public, critics and industrial insiders.
As a result
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, they may be depressed.
On the other hand
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, despite the
disadvantages
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 mentioned above, they might gain many benefits.
Firstly
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, celebrities often have an important impact on society because their fans can mimic their behaviours and attitudes.
For example
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, when the famous speak up to raise positive change
,
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apply
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 and support the causes they believe in, they can influence the public’s opinion.
Secondly
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, they can earn a high salary and receive exclusive rights from many brands in the world when they participate in advertising activities.
Finally
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, they can use their fame and money to help good causes and call on
people
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 to do charity.
For instance
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, if they give money to charity , other
people
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 will do so too. In
this
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 way, they can make a big difference in the world.
To sum up
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, being famous brings many advantages and
disadvantages
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 to
people
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. In my opinion, I think that being well-known does more good than harm.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of being famous, which is good. However, be cautious with small inaccuracies or examples that may not fully support your point, such as the mention of Lana Del Rey's career and Grammy recognition. Ensure your examples are accurate and relevant to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. While there is a clear structure, transitions between some points could be smoother. Consider using more transition phrases to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your argument.
task achievement
Your essay provides specific examples to support the main points, which adds depth to your discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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