There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities. Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. Include reasins and any relevant examples to support your answer.

In recent years, living in big
cities
has been of great concern to the public. There is a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of
people
who wish to live in big
cities
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both
advantages
and
disadvantages
of
this
issue. On the one hand, it is true that living in big
cities
has some
advantages
.
Firstly
,
people
can earn more money. There are many
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
and
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
here, so there will be more job opportunities.
Secondly
, in the city, the quality of life will be higher. There is modern infrastructure and advanced technology here.
Finally
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
are many places for
people
to entertain and unwind.
People
can go to the supermarket, amusement park,
movie
Correct word choice
and movie
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theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
,...
Therefore
, living in big
cities
is good for
people
.
On the other hand
, it is
also
clear that living in big
cities
has certain
disadvantages
. To start with, there may be many social evils here because there are means that cause us to become depraved or influenced by bad pleasures.
Besides
, environmental pollution is
also
a problem in big
cities
because there are many vehicles, emissions from factories or
people
's unclean
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. In
this
way, living in big
cities
is rather bad for
people
. All in all, living in big
cities
has both
advantages
and
disadvantages
. Considering all the points mentioned above, it seems to me that the
advantages
of
this
issue
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
its
disadvantages
.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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task achievement
Expand on your points with more concrete and relevant examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific cities that are known for their job opportunities or cite statistics related to urban pollution.
coherence cohesion
Improve your transitions between paragraphs and points. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and logically. Use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the contrary' to connect your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating the topic and summarizing your points effectively.
task achievement
You have covered both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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