Some people think that a sense or competetion in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Over the
last
few years, the question is whether a sense
or
Correct your spelling
of
competetion
in Correct your spelling
competition
children
should be encouraged or children
who are taught to Correct word choice
whether children
co-operate
rather than compete become more useful Correct your spelling
cooperate
adults
has become one of the most controversial ones in many parts of the world. While
some people
strongly support the opinion that the sense
or competetion
in Correct your spelling
competition
children
should be encouraged, there are other people
who think that children
who are taught to co-operate
rather than compete become more useful adults
. In this
essay
I will discuss both points of view and try to draw some conclusions.
On the one hand, it is commonly argued Add a comma
essay,
some
groups of Change preposition
by some
people
that the sense
or
Correct your spelling
of
competetion
in Correct your spelling
competition
children
should be encouraged.The first arguement
that they bring in order to support their point of view is Correct your spelling
argument
that
development of time and the cause of increased Correct determiner usage
the
competetion
among Correct your spelling
competition
people
or children
. For example
, nowadays for living
in Change preposition
to live
specific
area you must Add an article
the specific
a specific
to
be knowledgeable or you must Change the verb form
apply
to
know some job for your life, Change the verb form
apply
this
in turn means you have to be competitive and raise your children
to compete with others. Another reason why they claim is that children
must to
learn always being first at any Change the verb form
apply
work
is very important for their future life. This
is why if you do any work
satisfactorily you will always reach succes
and achieve your goals easily.
Correct your spelling
success
On the other hand
, despite mentioned counter arguments
, it is thought by others that Add a hyphen
counter-arguments
children
who are taught to co-operate
rather than compete become more useful adults
they think this
is true mainly due to
the fact that working with colleagues can offer several benefits like high
quality of Add an article
the high
work
result and working together help to spend less energy. For instance
, if children
work
together, the result of their work
can be more quality than working alone. Another main reason that they bring is that working and communicating in society. Thus
it makes it clear that communicating in society is very
important skill which you always Add an article
a very
needed
. Wrong verb form
need
Also
, if you are sociable you will always achieve your personal goals.
In conclusion, although
some people
support the idea that the sense
or Correct your spelling
competition
competetion
in Correct your spelling
competition
children
should be encouraged, others advocate that children
should work
co-operate
rather than compete become
more useful Fix the infinitive
to become
adults
, from my personal point of view, working co-operate
can be more useful than working alone in society
Add an article
a society
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your own opinion. To enhance task response, ensure that each argument is fully explored with specific and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure and both an introduction and conclusion are present, try to make transitions between paragraphs smoother to improve coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
It is commendable that you have discussed both viewpoints and provided a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The topic is understood well and both sides of the argument are presented.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.