IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people believe tertiary education should be free, but others say universities should charge students. discuss both viwes and give your opinin.

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It is said that
although
Linking Words
 a group of individuals present the view that it is necessary for
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 to charge
students
Use synonyms
,
whereas
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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others are of the opinion that tertiary education should be free. I strongly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
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 the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 justifiably argue that charging
students
Use synonyms
 for
universities
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 leads to more studying with better quality, so they can pass their courses in a timely manner.
Otherwise
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, they should pay tuition for each extra educational course which did not pass on time.
In addition
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,
as a result
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 of not being free tuition for
universities
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, the government can invest
on
Change preposition
in
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 the other part of development.
Due to
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 the fact that
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Change noun form
universities'
university's
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universities
Change noun form
universities'
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 expenditures are money consuming
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 laboratory instruments and different facilities. They impose expenses on the government
then
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 emitting them provides opportunities for construction infrastructures.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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 claim that
as a result
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 of free tertiary
education
Add a comma
education,
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 each person can benefit from
this
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 option. They insist that if it is not necessary to think about
university
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 tuition, the difference between rural and urban
students
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 is more likely would be emitted. So that it leads to equality in educational access. Another perceived
benefits
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benefit
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for
Change preposition
of
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 not charging
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 is that it gives rise to
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
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 willingness among
people
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 to benefit from tertiary education.
As a result
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 of obtaining higher
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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, better job opportunities would be proposed.
However
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, in my view,
this
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 argument is not valid since most
people
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 can get a loan.
Furthermore
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, they can benefit from other short-term
placement
Fix the agreement mistake
placements
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 in order to learn
job
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a job
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 or get a promotion.
To conclude
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, in my view, I completely believe
universities
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 should charge
students
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. Because it helps the quality of the
university
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 grow a step ahead and controls money consumption for the government.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider incorporating more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Demonstrating your points with real-life instances can make your essay more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that all your sentences are grammatically correct and make logical sense. A few sentences in the essay could be clearer and more coherent.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure consistency in your viewpoint throughout the essay. There are some places where your arguments could appear slightly contradicting.
overall structure
Your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided arguments for both views and presented your opinion clearly.
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