some people believe tertiary education should be free, but others say universities should charge students. discuss both viwes and give your opinin.

It is said that
although
a group of individuals present the view that it is necessary for
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
to charge
students
,
whereas
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others are of the opinion that tertiary education should be free. I strongly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
justifiably argue that charging
students
for
universities
leads to more studying with better quality, so they can pass their courses in a timely manner.
Otherwise
, they should pay tuition for each extra educational course which did not pass on time.
In addition
,
as a result
of not being free tuition for
universities
, the government can invest
on
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in
show examples
the other part of development.
Due to
the fact that
Change noun form
universities'
university's
show examples
universities
Change noun form
universities'
show examples
expenditures are money consuming
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
laboratory instruments and different facilities. They impose expenses on the government
then
emitting them provides opportunities for construction infrastructures.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
claim that
as a result
of free tertiary
education
Add a comma
education,
show examples
each person can benefit from
this
option. They insist that if it is not necessary to think about
university
tuition, the difference between rural and urban
students
is more likely would be emitted. So that it leads to equality in educational access. Another perceived
benefits
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benefit
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
not charging
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
is that it gives rise to
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
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willingness among
people
to benefit from tertiary education.
As a result
of obtaining higher
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
, better job opportunities would be proposed.
However
, in my view,
this
argument is not valid since most
people
can get a loan.
Furthermore
, they can benefit from other short-term
placement
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placements
show examples
in order to learn
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
or get a promotion.
To conclude
, in my view, I completely believe
universities
should charge
students
. Because it helps the quality of the
university
grow a step ahead and controls money consumption for the government.
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider incorporating more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Demonstrating your points with real-life instances can make your essay more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that all your sentences are grammatically correct and make logical sense. A few sentences in the essay could be clearer and more coherent.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure consistency in your viewpoint throughout the essay. There are some places where your arguments could appear slightly contradicting.
overall structure
Your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided arguments for both views and presented your opinion clearly.

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