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Band 7.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years
Considering the rapid growth in most aspects of the world, some people perceive that adolescents need to pursue formal
education
 until they become young adults. In my view, the opinion above strongly suggests that
education
 is essential. I will explain some reasons to support my argument. First of all, high formal
education
 is required to prepare teenagers to be knowledgeable and
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
. Today, job vacancies mostly have minimum
education
 level requirements because employers prefer to hire someone who has good logic and specific skills. These can be acquired by studying subjects in school
such
 as mathematics, foreign language, and science.
For example
, a job application may require applicants to have graduated from high school or possess the ability to speak Spanish.
Additionally
, schools provide programs for students to seek guidance about their next steps, whether they choose academic pursuits or employment. Specific teachers are assigned to help students identify their passions and match them with their capabilities.
For instance
, if a student from a less privileged background excels in mathematics, a teacher can suggest pursuing higher
education
 with support from a scholarship or taking a job that requires strong quantitative skills like cashier or teller positions. In conclusion, formal
education
 is crucial for adolescents to be well-prepared when they want to pursue higher
education
 or establish a career. Given
this
 situation, the government should support
this
 by implementing a program for citizens that makes formal
education
 mandatory and free until a certain age.
Consequently
, the program will ensure that schools are adequately equipped, and young people have easy access to
education
.
Submitted by nohan.bhadrika on

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task achievement
To enrich the essay, you could consider mentioning potential counterarguments and addressing them. For instance, some might argue that practical experience is equally important or some students may benefit more from vocational training. Addressing this could further strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Use connecting words or phrases to create smoother transitions between points within paragraphs. This will enhance readability and ensure the flow of the essay is maintained.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, providing a logical flow to the reader.
task achievement
Your main points are clearly articulated and supported with relevant examples, such as citing math skills or language requirements for job applications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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