Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In these
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These
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days some people think that
children
should be taught to be nice
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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of society by their
parents
,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
argue that academic institutions are the place to
educated
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
them.
This
essay will discuss both of these views ;
however
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however,
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i
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I
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personally agree with the first one
parents
should teach their
children
how to be good citizens. On the one hand,
school
tends to be the most popular place that allows any student to develop both common knowledge and personal hard skills. It can be explained by the fact that teens can easily create social circles with their teachers and peers through communication and interaction in the
school
environment.
For instance
, they can be taught by their teachers how to treat their friends kindly,
as well as
build their own good behaviours through practising that with each other.
However
,
this
line of reasoning is not sound because almost all
children
go to
school
at around six years old,
however
, their characteristics are probably found at an earlier age since they have started to be aware of everything that has happened in their lives.
Thus
,
this
very fact renders the idea that
school
is the place for a child to learn how to be nice insignificant. To add
further
credence to my assertion, it is obvious that
parents
are pioneers who help their
children
to
bloom
Verb problem
develop
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good awareness and kind behaviours as soon as they are well-recognized by more things around them. The prime reason for
this
is that at the
toddle
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toddler
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stage, a child tries to imitate many words and actions of adults.
As a result
,
parents
who are closest to their
children
will become role models for them as they learn how to talk and act towards other people.
For example
, if
toddle
Correct your spelling
toddlers
show examples
witnesses
Fix the agreement mistake
witness
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that their father helps their mother do housework, they will memorize it and
then
re-do it to support their mom when they grow older, as long as they have the ability to do that thing. In conclusion, it is controversial whether
parents
or teachers should train
children
how to become helpful members of society. From my perspective, I believe that
parents
should take the main responsibility for educating their
children
to behave kindly towards others.
Submitted by agostinoninonem on

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grammar
Make sure to polish grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity. Small errors like 'In these days' instead of 'These days', and 'nice member' instead of 'good member' should be corrected.
task response
Ensure that all parts of the topic are thoroughly discussed and that your opinion is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning that parents play a crucial role, provide more specific examples or diverse arguments.
structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
support
Good use of examples to illustrate points, which helps to clarify and support the main arguments.
task achievement
The opinion is stated clearly and supported with logical reasoning, particularly in the second body paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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