In many countries governments are interesting in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
In various
countries
Add a comma
countries,
authority
are Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
keeon
on new Correct your spelling
keen
technical
to cope with the general society. In Replace the word
technologies
this
essay, writer
will write about how it Add an article
the writer
a writer
become
popular to control and the government use VAT to spend Wrong verb form
became
money
on their purpose.
It is vital to understand that all
most Correct determiner usage
apply
the
knowledge of Change preposition
of the
citizens
is from internet
Add an article
the internet
such
as news or trend
. Obviously, Fix the agreement mistake
trends
government
can control the information about war or politics for the individuals Add an article
the government
that
can help Correct pronoun usage
apply
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
easier
to concentrate on their goals and Correct word choice
apply
also
gain the support and trust of the citizens
in country
. Add an article
the country
Thus
can easily to containment
the gangers affecting the development of the Wrong verb form
contain
country
.
Political protection of the country
is another essentisl
element in Correct your spelling
essential
this
case. In other words
, the authority
can easily direct public opinion at will in order to have political purposes that benefit economic development while
benefiting the citizens
. This
, in turn
will take the objective Add the comma(s)
turn,
more
faster Change the word
apply
as well as
summarize the whole individuals with the gorvernment
to create a strong nation.
Correct your spelling
government
Spend
Wrong verb form
Spending
money
to
the purposes of the nation is a Change preposition
for
comple
issue like the business Correct your spelling
complete
invest
something but can be dealt with by the intelligence and wisdom of the leaders and the cooperation, Wrong verb form
investing
suggestions
of the Correct word choice
and suggestions
citizens
. It is evident that president
can predict the risk of Correct article usage
the president
all
most Correct determiner usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
situation
and Fix the agreement mistake
situations
know
how to reduce the danger Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
of
Change preposition
to
nation
so the Correct article usage
the nation
authority
would like to spend money
on national
security network system. To be clear, they will train talented individuals in technology who can protect classified military or political documents or they can buy Correct article usage
the national
private
of Fix the agreement mistake
privates
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
to cooperate.
Taking everything into account, the government will know how
to do to help their Correct word choice
what
country
development Change noun form
country's
such
as they will spend much of
Change preposition
apply
money
on technology to caught
the digital in the modern world.Change the form of the verb
catch
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language
Your essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to simplify your sentences and double-check your grammar. For example, instead of 'Spending money to the purposes of the nation is a comple issue like the business invest something,' you might say, 'Spending money on national initiatives is a complex issue, much like business investments.'
structure
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined. The introduction should clearly state the main points you'll discuss, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize those points while providing a clear answer to the question.
content
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing. For instance, you can mention specific technologies and how governments have used them effectively in various countries.
coherence
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are presented in a logical order. Topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help establish this clarity.
content
You have a good general understanding of the topic and make some thoughtful points about government use of technology.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both parts of the question, discussing why governments are interested in new technology and whether it is an appropriate use of government money.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.