In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

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Nowadays, most societies have some problems for
kids
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, especially teenagers. In some regions of the US, there is a rule which is prohibited to go out during the night without an adult. Some people believe that it is the best way to protect and monitor them. I completely disagree with
this
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idea, and in
this
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essay, I will support my opinion with examples. First of all, children must stay with their
friends
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or classmates when they have
time
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. The
time
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is mostly evenings. Spending
time
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with
friends
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may broaden their horizons.
Secondly
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,
parents
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cannot protect or follow their
kids
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all the
time
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because the
kids
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have to solve regular problems on their own.
For example
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, the
parents
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let
kids
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go to summer camping when they reach 8 in Australia
according to
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ABC News in 2023, and
this
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is the beginning of making decisions for them.
Lastly
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,
this
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must be the
last
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choice to take care of children all the
time
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for
parents
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unless the government cannot solve any crime which may affect teenagers.
On the other hand
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, if
parents
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do not know the best three to five
friends
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of their child, it may show that they really do not pay attention to their
kids
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to exactly know what they are doing right now.
This
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is one of the main reasons why their boys are mostly in trouble.
For instance
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, a statistic shows that 70 per cent of boys already have been recorded by the police when
parents
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do not know any
friends
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' names of their
kids
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. In conclusion, staying at home in the evenings is a good thing,
however
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,
kids
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have the right to go out when they are free. Personally, going out with adults must be the
last
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option for teenagers.
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on

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task response
Clarify certain points for better understanding. For example, explain why spending time with friends in the evening is more beneficial than during the day.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the connection between your ideas. Some points feel slightly disconnected. For example, the transition between discussing children's independence and the role of parents could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines your opinion and sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
supported main points
You include some relevant statistics and examples, which help in supporting your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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