In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
Nowadays, most societies have some problems for
kids
, especially teenagers. In some regions of the US, there is a rule which is prohibited to go out during the night without an adult. Some people believe that it is the best way to protect and monitor them. I completely disagree with Use synonyms
this
idea, and in Linking Words
this
essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
First of all, children must stay with their Linking Words
friends
or classmates when they have Use synonyms
time
. The Use synonyms
time
is mostly evenings. Spending Use synonyms
time
with Use synonyms
friends
may broaden their horizons. Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
parents
cannot protect or follow their Use synonyms
kids
all the Use synonyms
time
because the Use synonyms
kids
have to solve regular problems on their own. Use synonyms
For example
, the Linking Words
parents
let Use synonyms
kids
go to summer camping when they reach 8 in Australia Use synonyms
according to
ABC News in 2023, and Linking Words
this
is the beginning of making decisions for them. Linking Words
Lastly
, Linking Words
this
must be the Linking Words
last
choice to take care of children all the Linking Words
time
for Use synonyms
parents
unless the government cannot solve any crime which may affect teenagers.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, if Linking Words
parents
do not know the best three to five Use synonyms
friends
of their child, it may show that they really do not pay attention to their Use synonyms
kids
to exactly know what they are doing right now. Use synonyms
This
is one of the main reasons why their boys are mostly in trouble. Linking Words
For instance
, a statistic shows that 70 per cent of boys already have been recorded by the police when Linking Words
parents
do not know any Use synonyms
friends
' names of their Use synonyms
kids
.
In conclusion, staying at home in the evenings is a good thing, Use synonyms
however
, Linking Words
kids
have the right to go out when they are free. Personally, going out with adults must be the Use synonyms
last
option for teenagers.Linking Words
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on
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task response
Clarify certain points for better understanding. For example, explain why spending time with friends in the evening is more beneficial than during the day.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the connection between your ideas. Some points feel slightly disconnected. For example, the transition between discussing children's independence and the role of parents could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines your opinion and sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
supported main points
You include some relevant statistics and examples, which help in supporting your points.