In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
Nowadays, most societies have some problems for
kids
, especially teenagers. In some regions of the US, there is a rule which is prohibited to go out during the night without an adult. Some people believe that it is the best way to protect and monitor them. I completely disagree with this
idea, and in this
essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
First of all, children must stay with their friends
or classmates when they have time
. The time
is mostly evenings. Spending time
with friends
may broaden their horizons. Secondly
, parents
cannot protect or follow their kids
all the time
because the kids
have to solve regular problems on their own. For example
, the parents
let kids
go to summer camping when they reach 8 in Australia according to
ABC News in 2023, and this
is the beginning of making decisions for them. Lastly
, this
must be the last
choice to take care of children all the time
for parents
unless the government cannot solve any crime which may affect teenagers.
On the other hand
, if parents
do not know the best three to five friends
of their child, it may show that they really do not pay attention to their kids
to exactly know what they are doing right now. This
is one of the main reasons why their boys are mostly in trouble. For instance
, a statistic shows that 70 per cent of boys already have been recorded by the police when parents
do not know any friends
' names of their kids
.
In conclusion, staying at home in the evenings is a good thing, however
, kids
have the right to go out when they are free. Personally, going out with adults must be the last
option for teenagers.Submitted by enkhbat0923 on
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task response
Clarify certain points for better understanding. For example, explain why spending time with friends in the evening is more beneficial than during the day.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the connection between your ideas. Some points feel slightly disconnected. For example, the transition between discussing children's independence and the role of parents could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines your opinion and sets the stage for the rest of the essay.
supported main points
You include some relevant statistics and examples, which help in supporting your points.
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