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Writing Samples
Band 7

the chart below compares percentage of time that parents spent time with children in Australia in 2013

the chart below compares percentage of time that parents spent time with children in Australia in 2013
The chart compares the percentage of
time
Use synonyms
 that parents spent their
time
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 with their
children
Use synonyms
 in 2013 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, three activities experienced different trends in 2013.
While
Linking Words
mothers
Use synonyms
 are better
in
Change preposition
at
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 everything than fathers at playing
games
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 and preparing for bed the chart below compares the percentage of
time
Use synonyms
 that parents spent
time
Use synonyms
 with
children
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 2013 were the best. As the chart shows. 75 of the
mothers
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 dressed their
children
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 but more than 1 father dressed and 22 of parents
both
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 dressed their
children
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. Regarding helping with homework 50
mothers
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 helped with homework 10 of the fathers helped and the number of
both
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 helped was 40 the next playing
games
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 25 moms played
games
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 with the child 5 dads played
games
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 and around 70
both
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 played. The
last
Linking Words
 one prepared for bed 45 of the
mothers
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 prepared for bed and 5 dads and 50
both
Use synonyms
 prepared their
children
Use synonyms
 for bed.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, children, mothers, games, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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