IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

City living 21st century is stressful and offers no advantages. Do you agree or disagree?

#city #st #century
There are many
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
cause
Correct pronoun usage
that cause
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 to stressful
nowday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 with the
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of technology and lifestyle that
change
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mind
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
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 in
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a different way. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
evolve
Replace the word
evolution
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere around the world and it
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
 very fast,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why many adult cannot handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
change
 and
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own
comfortzone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone
.
within
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
change
Change preposition
in
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
,
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
antisocialization
Correct your spelling
anti socialization
 by looking through the phone and
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it the fifth
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
 that
significant
Add a missing verb
is significant
show examples
 in their life, so social
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 people afraid to face the real world and
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 their point of view in
disgiuse
Change the article
a disgiuse
show examples
 way. It decreased the
generous
Replace the word
generosity
show examples
 and
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 each other and look in the worst way. The second one would be lifestyle. Comparing to the past century people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been through all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 war, disaster, religion, and education.
Submitted by kt.03pva on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay introduces relevant points but could be better organized. Focus on structuring your argument logically from the introduction to the conclusion. Each paragraph should address a single idea clearly.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Provide specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Language and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammar, syntax, and word choice. Improving these areas will help your ideas come across more clearly and effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay touches on relevant aspects of modern life, such as technology and lifestyle changes, which affect people's stress levels.
Lexical Resource
The use of terms like 'antisocialization' and 'comfort zone' show an attempt to use specialized vocabulary. This is a good step and shows potential for higher-level writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment hubs
  • convenient access
  • amenities
  • cultural diversity
  • personal growth
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • burnout
  • cost of living
  • financial strain
  • social problems
  • traffic congestion
  • noise pollution
  • overcrowding
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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