City living 21st century is stressful and offers no advantages. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are many
factor
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factors
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cause
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that cause
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to stressful
nowday
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nowadays
with the
develop
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development
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of technology and lifestyle that
change
people
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people's
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mind
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minds
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in
to
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apply
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a different way. First of
all
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all,
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there
are
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is
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the
Correct article usage
an
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evolve
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evolution
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in
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apply
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everywhere around the world and it
change
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changes
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very fast,
that
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which
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is why many adult cannot handle
with
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apply
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the
change
and
stuck
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are stuck
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with
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in
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their own
comfortzone
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comfort zone
.
within
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apply
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the
change
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in
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of
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in
show examples
Correct your spelling
technology
tecnology
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technology
,
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apply
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It
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apply
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Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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antisocialization
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anti socialization
by looking through the phone and
Wrong verb form
making
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make
Wrong verb form
making
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it the fifth
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factor
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factors
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factor
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that
significant
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is significant
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in their life, so social
make
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makes
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people afraid to face the real world and
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show
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showing
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show
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their point of view in
disgiuse
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a disgiuse
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way. It decreased the
generous
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generosity
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and
emphaty
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empathy
to
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toward
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each other and look in the worst way. The second one would be lifestyle. Comparing to the past century people
has
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have
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been through all
kind
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kinds
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of
situation
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situations
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likes
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like
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war, disaster, religion, and education.
Submitted by kt.03pva on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay introduces relevant points but could be better organized. Focus on structuring your argument logically from the introduction to the conclusion. Each paragraph should address a single idea clearly.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Provide specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Language and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammar, syntax, and word choice. Improving these areas will help your ideas come across more clearly and effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay touches on relevant aspects of modern life, such as technology and lifestyle changes, which affect people's stress levels.
Lexical Resource
The use of terms like 'antisocialization' and 'comfort zone' show an attempt to use specialized vocabulary. This is a good step and shows potential for higher-level writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment hubs
  • convenient access
  • amenities
  • cultural diversity
  • personal growth
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • burnout
  • cost of living
  • financial strain
  • social problems
  • traffic congestion
  • noise pollution
  • overcrowding
What to do next:
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