IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that everyone has the right to receive university education，so the government should make it free to all people regardless of their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that
education
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 is an essential aspect of life, and every person should have the opportunity to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in
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university
Add an article
the university
a university
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.
Hence
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, the government should make
education
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 free for all
people
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, regardless of their financial background.
This
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 essay will fully agree with
this
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 statement because it can positively impact the economy of the country and the quality of society.
To begin
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 with, nowadays, not many
people
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 can afford the tuition fees for higher
education
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,
such
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 as
university
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. Many individuals who graduate from senior high school choose to enter the workforce
instead
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 of pursuing higher
education
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due to
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 financial constraints. If
this
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 trend continues and the government fails to take action, it will negatively affect the nation's development.
For example
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, the country may fall behind in technological advancements, and the number of homeless
people
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 could gradually increase.
In addition
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, the government should prioritize
education
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 because it plays a crucial role in the economy. One significant source of national revenue comes from taxes on companies and individuals' salaries.
For instance
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, if there are fewer
people
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 with a higher
education
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, fewer individuals will innovate or start businesses.
Moreover
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, the job market will decline as fewer
people
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 pursue
university
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education
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, leading to lower economic productivity. In conclusion,
education
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 is vital for the stability of the country, especially at the
university
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 level.
This
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 essay strongly agrees with the statement that providing free access to higher
education
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 can significantly benefit the nation by opening up employment opportunities and increasing tax revenue.

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task achievement
While your essay clearly outlines your position, consider adding more specific examples or case studies to reinforce your arguments further. For instance, you could include examples of countries where free university education has resulted in positive outcomes.
coherence
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, using more varied linking phrases would enhance the flow of your ideas. For example, use 'Furthermore' or 'In contrast' in your paragraphs to improve cohesion.
task achievement
To make your arguments more robust, you might want to include counterarguments or address potential concerns about free university education. This would showcase a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You present a clear stance on the issue from the beginning, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your points, making your essay easy to follow and understand.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Economic status
  • Potential
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Citizenry
  • Social inequalities
  • Fiscal limitations
  • Funding models
  • Over-enrollment
  • Admissions
  • Merit
  • Personal investment
  • Committed
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