The arts, such as music, painting and literature, are an essential part of a society's cultural identity. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is said that every form of
arts
is culturally important to any country around the world. The writer of Fix the agreement mistake
art
this
essay strongly agrees with this
notion since arts
not only represent historical contexts but also
people's belief
throughout the time.Artists and their masterpieces are both influenced by the environment which leads to the significant differences of each age's artistic styles. Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
In other words
, by examming
paintings Correct your spelling
examining
examing
as well as
poems, many researchers have learnt many crucial twists and turns that result in the characteristics of each modern nations
. Fix the agreement mistake
nation
Furthermore
, as arts
were not monopoly
by any class Add an article
a monopoly
among
Change preposition
in
the
society, even the lowest people who lived under the poverty line could still contribute to their Correct article usage
apply
culture
via informal arts
. Take China for instance
, it is the richest country regarding culture
because is
has been Correct your spelling
it
regconized
the great importance of art for for a long time.It should Correct your spelling
recognized
also
be noted how
without many Correct word choice
that
piece
of art, a lot of historical points, a part of Change to a plural noun
pieces
culture
, could not be explored. To be more specific, while
written history bears the criticism of being recorded by the winners, making it became
subjective, the Verb problem
apply
arts
like rebel paintings and songs are the true opinion of some citizens at that moment.Moreover
, on the grounds that artistic pieces have always been considered valuable, they are more likely to be kept safe in order to pass their meanings to the next generations. As a consequence
, without the contribution of poets and other artists, some parts of a cultural identity would remain hidden.In conclusion, the arts
play a key role when it comes to culture
because of the historical meaning they bring and society's opinion at different ages. Unless there were
a wide range of art pieces, a nation could not be declared as culturally rich.Change the verb form
was
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coherence cohesion
The essay should benefit from clearer paragraph breaks. Currently, the essay is presented in a single block of text, which hampers readability and logical progression of ideas. Distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion would enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases, like 'became subjective' instead of 'becoming subjective' and 'is has been regconized' instead of 'it has been recognized.'
task achievement
Although the examples provided are relevant, they could be more specific and fully developed. For example, further elaboration on how China's informal arts contributed to its cultural richness would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's agreement with the statement, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay offers a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the historical significance and the societal impact of the arts.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant examples to support the main points, such as the reference to China and the mention of rebel paintings and songs.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion