7.) Should young people follow the older people’s examples or it’s good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both the views and give yours.

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There are a lot of
people
Use synonyms
’s examples that are still used as
advice
Use synonyms
at present. Challenging older
people
Use synonyms
's opinions and thoughts is acceptable for new generations. The following views and examples will be discussed below.
First,
Linking Words
one of the most favourable reasons for following the senior’s
advice
Use synonyms
is many suggestions are based on their own stories and mistakes.Taking their instruction leads the younger ones to not get lost and point to the correct ways.
For example
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, BBC News stated a lot of
advice
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from aged
people
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in nursery homes is relevant to learning and fault which forces great lessons for growing up and success in the future. Even though some opinions and thoughts are too old to use regularly, basic ones can be adapted to various circumstances well
such
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as manner and tradition. Respecting each other is essential to living with others peacefully.
On the other hand
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, without questioning and challenging, the acceptance of diversity would not have happened because some classical ideas look stubborn and disrespectful to a person possibly
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a huge number of conflicts . To illustrate
this
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, 80 per cent of Koreans agreed in the same direction that having too much senior system not only leads to unnecessary misunderstanding but
also
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slows down work progression in their company.
Additionally
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, trying to challenge the past concepts will invent civilization
while
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the world changes so fast and the former concepts are still the base for developing something better.
To conclude
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, young
people
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should follow the older
people
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’s example because their
advice
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is full of experiences which can be accommodated with the individuals and their elementary aspect is necessary to meet with various
people
Use synonyms
these days. Meanwhile, testing old fashion is good for conducting positive changes and revising elderly beliefs can decrease disagreement and help to understand distinction too.
Submitted by amittawin on

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coherence cohesion
Although the introductory paragraph gives a general overview of the topic, further elaboration or a clearer thesis could enhance reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a steady flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, covering both perspectives and providing a personal standpoint.
task achievement
The examples used are pertinent and effectively illustrate the points discussed, particularly the survey of Koreans regarding seniority in the workplace.
coherence cohesion
The essay's conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and provides a clear final perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wisdom
  • Experience
  • Mistakes
  • Guidance
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Status quo
  • Fresh ideas
  • Perspective
  • Advancements
  • Societal harmony
  • Respecting
  • Adhering to
  • Generational conflicts
  • Mutual understanding
  • Progress
  • Evolve
  • Customs
  • Question
  • Reform
  • Outdated
  • Concepts
  • Drive progress
  • Critically evaluate
  • Balance
  • Tradition
  • Embracing
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