Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

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These days, it has become very common to see that both men and women give away a considerable amount of money on cosmetics and beauty care,
whereas
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this
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trend was not usual in the past times. In my essay, I will explore the potential reasons behind
this
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behaviour and discuss the possible
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consequences.
To begin
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with, the inclination to prioritize health and well-being, aiming to prevent the emergence of ageing signs is deeply rooted in the past.
For instance
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, they use various skin
cremes
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creams
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for wrinkles,
hair
Correct word choice
and hair
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mouse masks and indulge in spa procedures. In essence, society is just striving to maintain good health and a well-groomed appearance, as appealing
people
Use synonyms
always garner attention/stand out of
crowd
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the crowd
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.
However
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, there is always another side to the coin, with increasing demand, the cost of the product
also
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rises. At times individuals, both men and women, hope to see the tangible results from their efforts
ad
Correct your spelling
and
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significant expenses, but only to realize, they are stuck in the loop, encountering the drawbacks of the poor quality "remedies". Here comes the commercial part. Celebrities always serve as role models for ordinary humans.
People
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strive to emulate
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
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attributes of their idols
such
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as athletes with
well- defined
Correct your spelling
well-defined
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muscles. In pursuit of
this
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,
people
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turn to gainers and body-building drugs endorsed by their heroes and in various advertisements. Another important example is when some top model or actress
promote
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promotes
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new cosmetic products, women obediently follow their inane advice.
Therefore
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,
such
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brands as Anastasia, Kylie and James Charles have become famous and expensive brands. That cycle sometimes equals marketing and business, but not genuine care and curing. That means not every renowned name corresponds
quality
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to quality
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but commerce. In conclusion,
people
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invest a substantial portion of their income in beauty products to care for themselves and prolong their youth.
While
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they unwittingly become an integral part of the marketing system.
Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a discernible logical structure; however, transitions between ideas can be improved for a more seamless flow. Clearer topic sentences and summary sentences at the end of each paragraph could strengthen the cohesion. Moreover, using a wider range of linking words and phrases would aid in the coherence of the argument.
task achievement
The response completes the task, addressing both the reasons for the trend and its results. However, the ideas presented could be deeper and more comprehensive. Providing more detailed examples and delving into the psychological and social factors behind the trend would enhance the depth of the response. Ensure that the conclusion summarises the main points effectively and relates back to the question directly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media influence
  • idealized beauty standards
  • disposable income
  • economic prosperity
  • technological advancements
  • beauty products and services
  • cultural shifts
  • social contexts
  • personal health and wellness
  • self-care routines
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