Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

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These days, it has become very common to see that both men and women give away a considerable amount of money on cosmetics and beauty care,

whereas

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend was not usual in the past times. In my essay, I will explore the potential reasons behind

this

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behaviour and discuss the possible

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

consequences.

To begin

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with, the inclination to prioritize health and well-being, aiming to prevent the emergence of ageing signs is deeply rooted in the past.

For instance

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, they use various skin

cremes

Correct your spelling

creams

show examples

for wrinkles,

hair

Correct word choice

and hair

show examples

mouse masks and indulge in spa procedures. In essence, society is just striving to maintain good health and a well-groomed appearance, as appealing

people

Use synonyms

always garner attention/stand out of

crowd

Correct article usage

the crowd

show examples

However

Linking Words

, there is always another side to the coin, with increasing demand, the cost of the product

also

Linking Words

rises. At times individuals, both men and women, hope to see the tangible results from their efforts

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

significant expenses, but only to realize, they are stuck in the loop, encountering the drawbacks of the poor quality "remedies". Here comes the commercial part. Celebrities always serve as role models for ordinary humans.

People

Use synonyms

strive to emulate

physical

Correct article usage

the physical

show examples

attributes of their idols

such

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as athletes with

well- defined

Correct your spelling

well-defined

show examples

muscles. In pursuit of

this

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

turn to gainers and body-building drugs endorsed by their heroes and in various advertisements. Another important example is when some top model or actress

promote

Change the verb form

promotes

show examples

new cosmetic products, women obediently follow their inane advice.

Therefore

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such

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brands as Anastasia, Kylie and James Charles have become famous and expensive brands. That cycle sometimes equals marketing and business, but not genuine care and curing. That means not every renowned name corresponds

quality

Change preposition

to quality

show examples

but commerce. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

invest a substantial portion of their income in beauty products to care for themselves and prolong their youth.

While

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they unwittingly become an integral part of the marketing system.

zakhra.aliyeva2001Fri Dec 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a discernible logical structure; however, transitions between ideas can be improved for a more seamless flow. Clearer topic sentences and summary sentences at the end of each paragraph could strengthen the cohesion. Moreover, using a wider range of linking words and phrases would aid in the coherence of the argument.

task achievement

The response completes the task, addressing both the reasons for the trend and its results. However, the ideas presented could be deeper and more comprehensive. Providing more detailed examples and delving into the psychological and social factors behind the trend would enhance the depth of the response. Ensure that the conclusion summarises the main points effectively and relates back to the question directly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Your opinion

Having babies later can have more negative than positive effects on young adults? What is pros and cons about having babies laterand how do you think?

some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. discuss both views and give your opinion

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree?

Write an essay about the advantages and disadvantages of home robots

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?