Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.
These days, it has become very common to see that both men and women give away a considerable amount of money on cosmetics and beauty care,
whereas
this
trend was not usual in the past times. In my essay, I will explore the potential reasons behind this
behaviour and discuss the possible its
consequences.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To begin
with, the inclination to prioritize health and well-being, aiming to prevent the emergence of ageing signs is deeply rooted in the past. For instance
, they use various skin cremes
for wrinkles, Correct your spelling
creams
hair
mouse masks and indulge in spa procedures. In essence, society is just striving to maintain good health and a well-groomed appearance, as appealing Correct word choice
and hair
people
always garner attention/stand out of crowd
. Correct article usage
the crowd
However
, there is always another side to the coin, with increasing demand, the cost of the product also
rises. At times individuals, both men and women, hope to see the tangible results from their efforts ad
significant expenses, but only to realize, they are stuck in the loop, encountering the drawbacks of the poor quality "remedies". Here comes the commercial part.
Celebrities always serve as role models for ordinary humans. Correct your spelling
and
People
strive to emulate physical
attributes of their idols Correct article usage
the physical
such
as athletes with well- defined
muscles. In pursuit of Correct your spelling
well-defined
this
, people
turn to gainers and body-building drugs endorsed by their heroes and in various advertisements. Another important example is when some top model or actress promote
new cosmetic products, women obediently follow their inane advice. Change the verb form
promotes
Therefore
, such
brands as Anastasia, Kylie and James Charles have become famous and expensive brands. That cycle sometimes equals marketing and business, but not genuine care and curing. That means not every renowned name corresponds quality
but commerce.
In conclusion, Change preposition
to quality
people
invest a substantial portion of their income in beauty products to care for themselves and prolong their youth. While
they unwittingly become an integral part of the marketing system.Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a discernible logical structure; however, transitions between ideas can be improved for a more seamless flow. Clearer topic sentences and summary sentences at the end of each paragraph could strengthen the cohesion. Moreover, using a wider range of linking words and phrases would aid in the coherence of the argument.
task achievement
The response completes the task, addressing both the reasons for the trend and its results. However, the ideas presented could be deeper and more comprehensive. Providing more detailed examples and delving into the psychological and social factors behind the trend would enhance the depth of the response. Ensure that the conclusion summarises the main points effectively and relates back to the question directly.
Your opinion
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