In many countries goverments are interesting in new technology to deal with the public . Why is this happening. Do you think this is an appropriate use of goverment money?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the state-of-the-art world , the concern of
government
about innovative budgets
how
Add a missing verb
is how
show examples
to be able to cope with the public.
This
is
certain
Change the word
certainly
show examples
happening
due to
technology
not only
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
more amenities but
also
easily
Add a missing verb
being easily
show examples
accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
everyone. High-tech is becoming
all-pervasive
Replace the word
more pervasive
show examples
in
this
modern world than ever before .
Therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
investing money is the correct choice. One key reason for
governments
investing in new
technology
to improve public services is the growing demand for enhanced efficiency and effectiveness in governance.
Technology
has the capability to automate routine tasks, streamline processes, and facilitate data analysis, which can lead to significant cost savings and improved service delivery.
For example
, the implementation of digital platforms for citizen engagement can enhance transparency and communication between the
government
and the public, fostering a more responsive and accountable administration.
While
some critics may argue that investing in new
technology
is a misuse of
government
funds that could be better allocated to other pressing social needs, it is essential to consider the long-term benefits that technological advancements can bring. By harnessing
technology
,
governments
can modernize outdated systems, reduce bureaucracy, and address complex societal challenges more effectively.
Moreover
, investing in
technology
can spur economic growth by creating opportunities for innovation and entrepreneurship, ultimately benefiting the
overall
welfare of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion, the investment in new
technology
by
governments
to improve public services can be viewed as a strategic and justified use of resources. The adoption of
technology
offers the potential to revolutionize governance, enhance public service delivery, and foster greater citizen participation in decision-making processes.
While
it is crucial for
governments
to prioritize and allocate resources wisely, embracing new
technology
can pave the way for a more efficient, transparent, and responsive governance system.
Therefore
, investing in new
technology
should be seen as a prudent and forward-thinking strategy to meet the evolving needs of modern societies.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction needs slight clarification. The sentence 'the concern of government about innovative budgets how to be able to cope with the public' is not very clear. Rephrasing it to 'Governments are focusing on innovative technologies to better serve the public' could improve clarity.
task achievement
Try to incorporate a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and provide more concrete evidence. For instance, mention specific technologies like e-governance platforms, AI in public services, etc.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better flow. For example, you can connect the first and second paragraphs by mentioning 'One of the reasons for this trend...' to align more clearly with your introduction.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that summarizes your arguments effectively. It ties back to the original question and presents a balanced view.
task achievement
The main ideas are clearly articulated and relevant to the topic. You addressed both parts of the task effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: