Today more and more people want things instantly. why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #development

Nowadays, people's demand for immediate access to things is rapidly increasing.

This

phenomenon

caused

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is caused

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by the development of transmission and transportation technologies. Personally, I believe that

this

is a negative trend

that is

going to badly affect humankind.

After the

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The

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invention of the internet, which cut out the time needed to communicate and

recieve

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receive

information,

bring

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brought

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back

the

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apply

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improvements in everything else, including transmitting and transporting systems. Unlike before, you may have needed days or even years to connect with your overseas friends, now you only need a second or even

miliseconds

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milliseconds

to talk about how your day was with them. Our goods are

also

being delivered at a monstrous speed now, which only takes a few days to a few months

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the latest, compared to the past, which took ages.

Consequently

, the advancement is so good that we greedily ask for more.

This

is clearly an extremely bad trend; humans are so dependent on convenience.

As a result

, people are becoming more and more impatient, bad-tempered, and ungrateful; they request less and less time to receive their

order

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orders

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and are intolerant of any waiting. These things undeniably negatively impact on the

human

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humans

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themsleves

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themselves

. Which can result in intense social problems

such

strike

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strikes

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at work, mental health

issue

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issues

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dissastisfaction

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dissatisfaction

of life quality and more. In conclusion, the tendency of people

asking

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to ask

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immediately for everything is

caue

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caused

cause

by the

improvrment

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improvement

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show examples

technologies

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technology

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This

phenomenon is certainly harmful

for

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show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

society and humankind.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear response to the task, identifying both the reason for the trend (advancements in technology) and its perceived negative effects. However, the discussion could benefit from additional development and depth. You could provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are generally logically structured, and the introduction and conclusion are present. Nevertheless, some sentences are quite long and complex, which can interrupt the flow of ideas. Breaking them into shorter, clearer sentences would enhance readability. Additionally, connecting sentences with appropriate linking words (e.g., 'therefore', 'as a result') would improve cohesion.

task achievement

The essay effectively identifies the primary reason behind the trend of wanting immediate access to things, which is the advancement in technology, specifically in communication and transportation.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. This provides a clear structure for the reader.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates an understanding of the negative implications of the trend, discussing its impact on human behavior and society.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant gratification
rapid advancement
instant communication
online shopping
fast food delivery
social media platforms
immediate feedback
recognition and validation
efficiency
productivity
convenience
decreased patience
delayed gratification
realistic expectations
work ethic
unrealistic expectations
stress
dissatisfaction

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Today more and more people want things instantly. why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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