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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Time table shows the consumer durables owned in britian from 1972 to 1983

Time table shows the consumer durables owned in britian from 1972 to 1983
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The chart shows that the percentage of British
households
Use synonyms
 with a range of consumer durables steadily increased between 1972 and 1983. The greatest increase was in telephone ownership, rising from 42% in 1972 to 77% in 1983. Next came central heating ownership, rising from 37% of
households
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 in 1972 to 64% in 1983. The percentage of
households
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 with a refrigerator rose
21
Change preposition
by 21
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% over the same period and of those with a washing machine by 14%.
Households
Use synonyms
 with
vacuum-cleaners
Correct your spelling
vacuum cleaners
show examples
, televisions and dishwashers increased by 8%, 5% and 2% respectively, In 1983, the year of their introduction, 18% of
households
Use synonyms
 had a video recorder. The significant social changes reflected in the statistics are that over the period the proportion of British houses with central heating rose from one to
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
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, and of those with a phone from under a half to over three-quarters.
Together with
Linking Words
 the big increases in the ownership of washing, machines and
refriger-ators
Correct your spelling
refrigerators
, they are evidence of both rising living standards and the trend to lifestyles based on comfort and convenience.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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