In order to study at university, students are required to pay expensive tution fees. Not all students can afford them, so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with this?
Higher education is needed by many people nowadays which
are force
them to go to Wrong verb form
forces
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
. In fact, I strongly disagree with those who feel that tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
in the university
should be free for students
for two main reasons.
When the university
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
is
free, the Change the verb form
are
university
would face so many problems. Firstly
, it can hardly to
pay Fix the infinitive
apply
salary
of the Add an article
the salary
university
lecturer. As we know, the total cost living
of the people Change preposition
of living
increase
year by year. Change the verb form
increases
Therefore
, if the lecturer
had not been Fix the agreement mistake
lecturers
payed
well for their work, they would not give the best when they educate their Correct your spelling
paid
students
in class since money becoming one of the factors that influence worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
perform
. Replace the word
performance
As a result
, the education system would going
Change the verb form
go
be going
to
Change preposition
on
negative
trend.
Correct article usage
a negative
Secondly
, the university
might a
serious problem as they cannot develop the facilities and the study Add a missing verb
have a
subjects
. Technology has been used in the university
right now, and most of
educational Change preposition
apply
system
need that. If Fix the agreement mistake
systems
university
cannot serve Add an article
the university
a university
the
modern technologies Correct article usage
apply
such
as fast internet, modern laboratorium
, and other technologies, many Correct your spelling
labour
students
would not interested in the university
anymore. Consequently
, the government having
Wrong verb form
has
a
big trouble when they do not have a Remove the article
apply
big
number of bachelors. Correct word choice
large
Similarly
, study subjects
also
being an important value of the university
. Nowadays, many surveyors are
announce the rank of Unnecessary verb
apply
university
subjects
in the world routine twice a year. That
surveys Correct determiner usage
The
are
impacted the Unnecessary verb
apply
interested
of the Replace the word
interest
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
to
joining the Change preposition
in
university
. It is important to university
Correct article usage
the university
increasing
the student Change the verb form
to increase
subjects
by developing the buildings, hire
the best lecturer, always Wrong verb form
hiring
improve
the subject in line with Wrong verb form
improving
new
situation, and many more. Add an article
a new
the new
Thus
, it is important for the university
to have much
money to cover their expense.
In conclusion, the Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
in
the Change preposition
apply
university
should not free
for Add a missing verb
be free
the
Correct article usage
apply
students
as university
need Fix the agreement mistake
universities
that
for many things. I, Correct pronoun usage
them
therefore
, remain firmly convinced that Correct your spelling
tuition
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
should not free
for the Add a missing verb
be free
students
Submitted by alfathemaster on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope and purpose of your essay. Mention that you will discuss the reasons why you disagree with free tuition fees and briefly state the main points you will cover.
task achievement
Strengthen the main points by providing more specific examples. For instance, you can mention actual outcomes or statistics regarding universities with free tuition fees versus those with paid tuition fees.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. For example, "it can hardly to pay salary of the university lecturer" should be corrected to "it would struggle to pay the salaries of university lecturers."
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Try to ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the issue and your stance on it, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position in a compelling way.
coherence cohesion
While you do provide reasons for your stance, ensuring that each point is well-developed and supported with evidence will improve coherence and cohesion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and build it logically.
task achievement
You have presented a clear stance on the issue, indicating your disagreement with free tuition fees.
task achievement
You have attempted to support your main points with logical reasoning, touching on important aspects such as the salary of lecturers and the development of facilities.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example