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Band 4.5

More and more business meeting are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the trend ?

#business #place #trend
In
this
 contemporary era internet
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 much more popular than ever. Some
people
 argue that in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
business
 world employees prefer online
meetings
instead
 of
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 and there are several benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 numerous drawbacks of
non physical
Add a hyphen
non-physical
show examples
 web
meetings
.
However
, in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 modern days especially after the
Covid-19 and
Correct word choice
COVID-19
show examples
 lockdown period many businesses decided to continue with online conferences as they find it much more beneficial for the employees and customers
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
people
Change preposition
with convinience
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convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
.
For instance
, when
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
 conferences take
place
 online, there is no need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 employees to travel to get
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
place
 where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be,
this
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
people
 to not hurry and attend the meeting at home
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own comfort.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
this
 can lead to
save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
 some money
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 travel expenses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the meeting
place
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 far away and requires additional
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by public transport.
Furthermore
, there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 method of making
business
meetings
 . By replacing
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 with online, individuals lose their abilities for socialising, they can't interact with each other and build
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Moreover
, another major
disadvantages
Replace the adjective
disadvantage
show examples
 of online
meetings
 is immobilisation.
For example
, moving is vital for
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body as it
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 blood circulation and
overall
 health of human body, online
meetings
interupt
Correct your spelling
interrupt
 and not
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
people
 to move around as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
place
 at home and
people
 do not have a chance to travel or just
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
walk to the conference centre.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
this
 can cause
seriosu
Correct your spelling
serious
 health problems for the future. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 online
business
 conferences
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 several benefits for humanity as it provides
people
 much more
convinient methotd
Correct your spelling
convenient method
 to interact with each other, but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some drawbacks as well like immobility which can make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
suffer from different health problems.
Submitted by yuzgeademova2001 on

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grammar
Work on your grammar and spelling. There are several spelling mistakes (e.g., 'convinience' should be 'convenience', 'immobilisation' should be 'immobilization') and grammatical errors that can affect clarity.
content
Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas. While you have mentioned some points, they need to be more clearly articulated and expanded upon to fully address the task.
examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples help to demonstrate your arguments and make them more concrete.
structure
Improve the logical structure of the essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and that the essay flows logically from one idea to the next.
content
You have presented both advantages and disadvantages of online meetings, which shows a good understanding of the task.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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