IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is private cars banned from certain city centres. It is undeniable that private cars has become an essintial part of our life. However, there is no absolute agreement as some people find banned private transport beneficial, while others consider everything associated with banned cars negatively

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One
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 of the widely discussed issues nowadays is private
cars
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. It is undeniable that private
cars
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 have become an essential part of our life.
However
Linking Words
, these days have many problems using private
cars
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 around the world.
One
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 of the main aspects of the problem is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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increase level of
pollution
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 in many countries.
On
Correct your spelling
One
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 of the main reasons, why is
pollution
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is increase
Change the verb form
is increasing
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, that people
over
Rephrase
all over
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 the world
start
Add the particle
start to
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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 their own private
cars
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Some family members
use
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 not only
one
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 private
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cars
Change to a singular noun
car
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two
Correct word choice
but two
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 or more,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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global problems nowadays.
In addition
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,
pollution
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 has a strong impact on human health; it may be the cause of multiple diseases, including diseases of the respiratory system. In my opinion, there are many ways to solve
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, it is the responsibility of the government to force its people to
use
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 public transport
such
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 as trains, buses and trams.
Secondly
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, the government should increase oil and gas prices for people using private
cars
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.
Moreover
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, the government sets the task for companies to train and motivate employees to
use
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 public transport.
As a result
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, it will boost the economy of the country and become convenient for tourists as visitors enjoy clean air.
In addition
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, each person independently takes care of the city. To do
this
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 they must decide to reduce the
use
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 of
cars
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;
this
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 limits the number of
cars
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 on the road and produces less air
pollution
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. Having weighed all of the above, we can come to the conclusion that the residents of these countries have a great effect on the environment by buying
one
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 car per family, using public transport and engaging in self-education.

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are fully supported with relevant examples or evidence. For example, you mentioned pollution impacting health but did not provide specific examples or data.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas smoothly from one to the next to increase coherence and cohesion. Try to use a range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Refine the introduction and conclusion by clearly restating the main argument and summarizing key points to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a structured response, emphasizing the issues of pollution and solutions related to private car usage.
task achievement
You outlined several ways to solve the issue, such as government policies and individual responsibilities, demonstrating a thoughtful attempt to explore multiple angles of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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