Today more and more people wants thing instantly. Why is this?Is it positive or negative ?
Because of the high cost of living, the demand for
people
is higher and higher. That is
why most people
want all things immediately. From my observation, it will have a negative impact on humans and society
.
It must be understood that high demand can hardly impact on human and society
. Due to
the fact that young people
nowadays are following the new trend of society
and trying to catch up with it. Leading to the requirement for service and news to become faster and faster. A good example is that teenagers tend to track the dramas of celebrities instantly and discuss about
Remove the preposition
apply
it
on the Internet. It can be seen that quick Correct pronoun usage
them
information
is crucial with people
these days.
To discuss about
Remove the preposition
apply
this
, humans are always influential on society
via their lifestyles. If people
have high demand, the suppliers also
need to meet their needs. Hence
, a large amount of customers making requests at the same time can cause an overload of many companies such
as Shopee or Lazada. Moreover
, the suppliers may cannot
satisfy all Remove a modal verb
not
people
, so there are some arguments between suppliers and demanders. Not only goods, people
also
have a high requirement for information
. Because of that, the spread of wrong information
on the internet becomes
more serious. The best example of Wrong verb form
has become
this
is that some people
chose
to buy online, they buy things Wrong verb form
choose
according to
the trend online and cause an overload that will extend the time to receive goods.
To sum up
, it can affect on
Change preposition
apply
society
badly if people
still want to receive things constantly because of the overcrowding and the qualities of goods and information
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the ideas could be more developed. Make sure to elaborate further on the reasons why people want things instantly, providing more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
You have provided some structure to your essay with an introduction and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Smooth transitions between ideas are essential for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some points in your essay could be more effectively supported. Try to provide more detailed examples or evidence to back up your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a sense of completion to your response.
task achievement
You have made an effort to link your points to examples, which helps in illustrating your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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