IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph below shows the consumption of natural gas world wide from 1950 to 1990.

The bar graph below shows the consumption of natural gas world wide from 1950 to 1990.
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The bar chart illustrates how ordinary gas was widespread among consumers between 1950 and 1990. From an observational perspective, it can be seen that the
year
Use synonyms
 2002 had the most consumers utilizing different types of gases with the exception of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 which had more users in 1998.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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petroleum
Use synonyms
 witnessed exceeding consumption in 2002,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
 one was seen by renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in the same
year
Use synonyms
. With regard to the
year
Use synonyms
 that had the most consumptions via kinds of gases. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2002,
petroleum
Use synonyms
 accounted for the most
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed at 38, making
this
Linking Words
became
Verb problem
apply
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the greatest gas used by residents, followed by the range of 22 to 24, which stood for coal and natural gas, respectively. In terms of the 2 others, nuclear electric power comprised of 8
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed, which was higher than 2
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed compared with the renewable
energy
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. Turning to the remaining statistic, it contained consumers roughly from above 5 to approximately over 35,
which
Correct your spelling
with
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 the most users
was
Unnecessary verb
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observed by
petroleum
Use synonyms
 in 1998. As for
this
Linking Words
 figure, it had the same figures for the 4 others which were nearly at around 23 and nearly 7
instead
Linking Words
 of the consumption by
petroleum
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, energy, petroleum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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