Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In modern society, there has been growing public interest in establishing specialized

sports

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

which have various professional equipment. There are some

people

Use synonyms

who have claimed that the government should provide

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

for ordinary citizens to motivate them to play

sports

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is true;

however

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

understand that the

country

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should invest money in establishing specialized

facilities

Use synonyms

to train capable

athletes

Use synonyms

to promote

countries

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worldwide.

Firstly

Linking Words

, investing money in top

athletes

Use synonyms

can develop and introduce our

countries

Use synonyms

internationally. If a top

sports

Use synonyms

player wins a worldwide

sports

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game like

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

or World Cup,

people

Use synonyms

from all over the world will start to pay attention to that

country

Use synonyms

. When

players

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who were sponsored by specialized

facilities

Use synonyms

become popular,

then

Linking Words

they might be able to attract visitors from other

countries

Use synonyms

. What

this

Linking Words

explains is that,

for instance

Linking Words

, Son

heong

Change the capitalization

Heong

show examples

min, who is the most famous soccer player in the world, has developed our

country

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's status. Even though he plays for European

countries

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, making good performances, a lot of

people

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have recognized our

country

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and tried to visit South Korea. For these reasons, I believe investing money to establish special buildings for

sports

Use synonyms

players

Use synonyms

seems effective at improving

countries

Use synonyms

' profits from travel and other finances.

However

Linking Words

, providing more public

sports

Use synonyms

spaces

also

Linking Words

has been suggested in many areas.

Sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

can be facilitated as community

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

where

people

Use synonyms

can play

sports

Use synonyms

and socialise with other

people

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in Korea,

people

Use synonyms

who engaged in Badminton often joined at

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

on weekends to play

sports

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together. I think

this

Linking Words

is the best way to enhance their health and communicate with various

people

Use synonyms

simultaneously.

Moreover

Linking Words

, by giving some opportunities to experience many kinds of

sports

Use synonyms

, especially for young

people

Use synonyms

, they might be able to discover their

sports

Use synonyms

capabilities that they didn’t notice before.

In other words

Linking Words

, if children cannot access specific

sports

Use synonyms

like skating or hockey in the

sports

Use synonyms

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, they will not imagine becoming

athletes

Use synonyms

in the future. I think it is important to give equal chances to everyone, not just

Change preposition

apply

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

special

athletes

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe providing

sports

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

enhances social well-being and gives a better chance to find out our future top

sports

Use synonyms

players

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

I recognize that specialized

sports

Use synonyms

centres will benefit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

not only

players

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

countries

Use synonyms

in many views, I believe providing enough

sports

Use synonyms

buildings for citizens seems imperative for our societal harmony. I wish all

people

Use synonyms

could access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

to strengthen their health and discover their hobbies.

kchengii

May 16, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the points in each paragraph clearly relate to the main argument of the essay to enhance coherence. For instance, the paragraph discussing public sports spaces can be more directly linked to the main argument.

task achievement

Try to provide more detailed examples to reinforce your arguments. Expanding on the examples will help to better illustrate your points and improve task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good sense of structure and helps maintain coherence.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the issue, which shows a complete response to the task prompt.

task achievement

The examples used, such as Son Heung Min’s international recognition, effectively support the main points and add relevance to the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

418 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

international success
specialized facilities
top athletes
sports facilities
positive development
negative development
excellence in sports
lack of access
general public
international sports events
unequal distribution
resources
inspire
motivate
aspiring athletes
neglecting
areas of development
contribute to
economy
excessive focus

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Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your friend is coming over to stay with you. However, you will be away on vacation for a month. Write him/her a letter and say: - how to get the keys to your flat, - how to operate the equipment in the flat, and - suggest a few places of interest to visit.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today`s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.