Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In modern society, there has been growing public interest in establishing specialized
sports
Use synonyms
centers
which have various professional equipment. There are some Change the spelling
centres
people
who have claimed that the government should provide Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
for ordinary citizens to motivate them to play Use synonyms
sports
. Use synonyms
This
is true; Linking Words
however
, I Linking Words
also
understand that the Linking Words
country
should invest money in establishing specialized Use synonyms
facilities
to train capable Use synonyms
athletes
to promote Use synonyms
countries
worldwide.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, investing money in top Linking Words
athletes
can develop and introduce our Use synonyms
countries
internationally. If a top Use synonyms
sports
player wins a worldwide Use synonyms
sports
game like Use synonyms
Olympics
or World Cup, Correct article usage
the Olympics
people
from all over the world will start to pay attention to that Use synonyms
country
. When Use synonyms
players
who were sponsored by specialized Use synonyms
facilities
become popular, Use synonyms
then
they might be able to attract visitors from other Linking Words
countries
. What Use synonyms
this
explains is that, Linking Words
for instance
, Son Linking Words
heong
min, who is the most famous soccer player in the world, has developed our Change the capitalization
Heong
country
's status. Even though he plays for European Use synonyms
countries
, making good performances, a lot of Use synonyms
people
have recognized our Use synonyms
country
and tried to visit South Korea. For these reasons, I believe investing money to establish special buildings for Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
players
seems effective at improving Use synonyms
countries
' profits from travel and other finances.
Use synonyms
However
, providing more public Linking Words
sports
spaces Use synonyms
also
has been suggested in many areas. Linking Words
Sports
Use synonyms
facilities
can be facilitated as community Use synonyms
centers
where Change the spelling
centres
people
can play Use synonyms
sports
and socialise with other Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Korea, Linking Words
people
who engaged in Badminton often joined at Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
on weekends to play Use synonyms
sports
together. I think Use synonyms
this
is the best way to enhance their health and communicate with various Linking Words
people
simultaneously. Use synonyms
Moreover
, by giving some opportunities to experience many kinds of Linking Words
sports
, especially for young Use synonyms
people
, they might be able to discover their Use synonyms
sports
capabilities that they didn’t notice before. Use synonyms
In other words
, if children cannot access specific Linking Words
sports
like skating or hockey in the Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
center
, they will not imagine becoming Change the spelling
centre
athletes
in the future. I think it is important to give equal chances to everyone, not just Use synonyms
Change preposition
apply
for
special Change preposition
apply
athletes
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I believe providing Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
centers
enhances social well-being and gives a better chance to find out our future top Change the spelling
centres
sports
Use synonyms
players
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
I recognize that specialized Linking Words
sports
centres will benefit Use synonyms
to
not only Change preposition
apply
players
but Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
countries
in many views, I believe providing enough Use synonyms
sports
buildings for citizens seems imperative for our societal harmony. I wish all Use synonyms
people
could access Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
to strengthen their health and discover their hobbies.Use synonyms
Submitted by kchengii on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the points in each paragraph clearly relate to the main argument of the essay to enhance coherence. For instance, the paragraph discussing public sports spaces can be more directly linked to the main argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to reinforce your arguments. Expanding on the examples will help to better illustrate your points and improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good sense of structure and helps maintain coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, which shows a complete response to the task prompt.
task achievement
The examples used, such as Son Heung Min’s international recognition, effectively support the main points and add relevance to the argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.