Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In modern society, there has been growing public interest in establishing specialized
sports
centers
which have various professional equipment. There are some Change the spelling
centres
people
who have claimed that the government should provide sports
facilities
for ordinary citizens to motivate them to play sports
. This
is true; however
, I also
understand that the country
should invest money in establishing specialized facilities
to train capable athletes
to promote countries
worldwide.
Firstly
, investing money in top athletes
can develop and introduce our countries
internationally. If a top sports
player wins a worldwide sports
game like Olympics
or World Cup, Correct article usage
the Olympics
people
from all over the world will start to pay attention to that country
. When players
who were sponsored by specialized facilities
become popular, then
they might be able to attract visitors from other countries
. What this
explains is that, for instance
, Son heong
min, who is the most famous soccer player in the world, has developed our Change the capitalization
Heong
country
's status. Even though he plays for European countries
, making good performances, a lot of people
have recognized our country
and tried to visit South Korea. For these reasons, I believe investing money to establish special buildings for sports
players
seems effective at improving countries
' profits from travel and other finances.
However
, providing more public sports
spaces also
has been suggested in many areas. Sports
facilities
can be facilitated as community centers
where Change the spelling
centres
people
can play sports
and socialise with other people
. For instance
, in Korea, people
who engaged in Badminton often joined at sports
facilities
on weekends to play sports
together. I think this
is the best way to enhance their health and communicate with various people
simultaneously. Moreover
, by giving some opportunities to experience many kinds of sports
, especially for young people
, they might be able to discover their sports
capabilities that they didn’t notice before. In other words
, if children cannot access specific sports
like skating or hockey in the sports
center
, they will not imagine becoming Change the spelling
centre
athletes
in the future. I think it is important to give equal chances to everyone, not just Change preposition
apply
for
special Change preposition
apply
athletes
. Therefore
, I believe providing sports
centers
enhances social well-being and gives a better chance to find out our future top Change the spelling
centres
sports
players
.
To sum up
, although
I recognize that specialized sports
centres will benefit to
not only Change preposition
apply
players
but also
countries
in many views, I believe providing enough sports
buildings for citizens seems imperative for our societal harmony. I wish all people
could access to
Change preposition
apply
sports
facilities
to strengthen their health and discover their hobbies.Submitted by kchengii on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the points in each paragraph clearly relate to the main argument of the essay to enhance coherence. For instance, the paragraph discussing public sports spaces can be more directly linked to the main argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to reinforce your arguments. Expanding on the examples will help to better illustrate your points and improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good sense of structure and helps maintain coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, which shows a complete response to the task prompt.
task achievement
The examples used, such as Son Heung Min’s international recognition, effectively support the main points and add relevance to the argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.