IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of travellers having a trip to a specific Caribbean Island from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there was an upward trend during the period of 7
years
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships and the total
similarly
Linking Words
 had a dramatically upward trend,
while
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
island
Add an article
an island
the island
show examples
 just increased a little. Looking closely at the graph, where the total outnumbered all other types of
visitors
Use synonyms
, it began at 1
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2010,
then
Linking Words
 doubled to nearly 2
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the figure moderately followed an up path for the next 3
years
Use synonyms
, observing at nearly 2,5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2015
along with
Linking Words
 remaining stable in 2016 before accounting for exactly 3,5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
Besides
Linking Words
, staying on
cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
show examples
 ship was not a favourable choice
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the first 3
years
Use synonyms
, presenting just under 0,3
thousand
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 its number gradually rose to 2
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2017. Turning to the remaining statistic, the figure of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 stayed
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
 at approximately 0,5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the first 2
years
Use synonyms
. After that, there was an increase making it rise to just 1,5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2013,
as well as
Linking Words
 dropping to 1,3
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2016 after having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stability for 3
years
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, it
againly
Correct your spelling
again
 surged to precisely 1,5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the final year.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, visitors, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: