Some people think that children are having to much free time and this time should be use to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Many people believe that
children
these days have ample
time
and
this
time
should be utilized to study and improve their academic
perfromance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
While
there are some people who think that these
children
should spend their free
time
doing different
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
with their family and friends. In
this
essay, I will talk about if it is
worthwile
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
for
children
to focus on their studies or consider other social
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
as well.
Firstly
if
children
focuses
Change the verb form
focus
show examples
on studying in their free
time
, there is a high chance that their academic performance will improve significantly. The additional
time
can be used to work on the weaker subjects. The
time
spent on the courses can help
children
achieve better grades collectively. Studying voluntarily
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
children
to develop
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
research and reading.
This
can help
children
in polishing
Wrong verb form
polish
show examples
their reading skills and incorporate
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
to work harder. Intensive subjects like History, Social Studies or English Literature can be dealt
easily
Change preposition
with easily
show examples
.
Children
who often read books are known for having better speaking skills and vocabulary. Improved academic performance can
also
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to better studying prospects later in the future when they apply for high school.
Children
should
also
focus on other
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
apart from studying as well.
While
every parent dreams
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
academic success for their child, they should
also
know that other social
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better personality development. There is no harm if these
children
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
in building
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
amongst themselves or learning a new skill like gardening or cycling. Participating in festivals can bring the people in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
together enabling
children
to learn more about the society, cultural and moral values. In conclusion, studying extra will always be
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for
children
.
Although
other social activities can help in personal development, Parents are advised to consider all aspects before making a decision on how to effectively consume additional
time
for their
children
.
Submitted by rohan.ahmed488 on

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Grammar & Spelling
Try to minimize grammatical errors and pay attention to spelling. For example, 'perfromance' should be 'performance' and 'actvites' should be 'activities.' Proofreading can help avoid such mistakes.
Transitions & Flow
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a natural flow. Adding some transitional phrases like 'Moreover' or 'On the other hand' can improve overall coherence.
Introduction
The introduction provides a clear overview of both perspectives, setting a strong foundation for the discussion.
Balanced Viewpoint
The essay covers both sides of the argument thoroughly, providing balanced viewpoints.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments, bringing the essay to a close.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental effects
  • mental well-being
  • life skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • empathy
  • physical development
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • unstructured play
  • cognitive development
  • academic performance
  • fatigue
  • motivation
  • quality over quantity
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • well-rounded personality
What to do next:
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