It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A commonly held belief is that some
people
are born with significant talents like problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
skills
, music, sport, logic et cetera. But
, it Correct word choice
However
is often asserts
that any child can be Change the verb form
is often asserted
taugh
to become Correct your spelling
taught
tough
certain
person with talents.
Add an article
a certain
In
Change preposition
From
first
point of view, it is true that some Change the article
the first
people
born
with certain Add a missing verb
are born
skills
than others. We must understand that humanity
different by itself. Some Add a verb
humanity is
humanity was
person
born with characteristics as someone good in Verb problem
people are
sport
or mathematical calculating and others. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
Furthermore
, not only skills
various same
thing with Correct article usage
the same
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
As a
result
person can be special in its own Add a comma
result,
way
. Moreover
, scientist
in Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
humans
variation can confirm that they are all in their own Change the noun form
human
way
. Likewise
, with some special skills
. For instance
, discipline, perseverance and
leadership and more. These kind of particular characteristics make humans more independent and important in the world. On Correct word choice
apply
other
hand, weak characteristics its laziness, impatience, apathy, Correct article usage
the other
jealous
et cetera make Replace the word
jealousy
people
vulnerable on
reaching Change preposition
to
social
.
The second point of view, Replace the word
society
that is
also
true. We can train child
to become certain Fix the agreement mistake
children
character
. Fix the agreement mistake
characters
However
, it demands his or her interests without it all in vain. In addition
, it depends on environment
. If your offspring train with someone who reachers high results, he might be interested and involved. Add an article
the environment
Afterwhile
, he can Correct your spelling
After a while
competitive
and find his Add a missing verb
be competitive
way
.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would agree with these statements. Certainly, people
Add a missing verb
are unequally
unequally
and Change the word
unequal
every
has Change the determiner
everyone
each
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
way
. Likewise
, intentions which mentioned. They are also
make important on
our social life. And surroundings which Change preposition
in
also
mentioned. With these points of view, I Add a missing verb
are also
am totally agree
. They are Change the verb form
totally agree
important
part of life.Add an article
an important
Submitted by dnm.best on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay needs clearer organization. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by explanations or examples. Try to make your arguments more structured and connected throughout the essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction is fine but could be more engaging. Clearly state both sides of the argument, and briefly outline what your own opinion will be. Also, make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your own opinion.
Task Response
Develop your main points further. Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and explain them in more detail. For instance, mentioning specific researchers or studies that support either viewpoint can strengthen your argument.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Although the ideas are present, they are not always clearly expressed. Try to improve the clarity of your ideas and the accuracy of your language. For example, some sentences are challenging to understand due to awkward phrasing or grammatical errors. This can distract readers from your main points.
Task Response
It's good that you acknowledge both views and provide your opinion. This shows that you understand the task requirements.
Supported Main Points
You have made an effort to discuss specific points regarding both viewpoints. This adds depth to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?