It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A commonly held belief is that some
people
are born with significant talents like
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills
, music, sport, logic et cetera.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it
is often asserts
Change the verb form
is often asserted
show examples
that any child can be
taugh
Correct your spelling
taught
tough
to become
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
person with talents.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
point of view, it is true that some
people
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
with certain
skills
than others. We must understand that
humanity
Add a verb
humanity is
humanity was
show examples
different by itself. Some
person
Verb problem
people are
show examples
born with characteristics as someone good in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
or mathematical calculating and others.
Furthermore
, not only
skills
various
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
thing with
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
As a
result
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result,
show examples
person can be special in its own
way
.
Moreover
,
scientist
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scientists
show examples
in
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
variation can confirm that they are all in their own
way
.
Likewise
, with some special
skills
.
For instance
, discipline, perseverance
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
leadership and more. These kind of particular characteristics make humans more independent and important in the world. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, weak characteristics its laziness, impatience, apathy,
jealous
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jealousy
show examples
et cetera make
people
vulnerable
on
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to
show examples
reaching
social
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society
show examples
. The second point of view,
that is
also
true. We can train
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to become certain
character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
show examples
.
However
, it demands his or her interests without it all in vain.
In addition
, it depends on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. If your offspring train with someone who reachers high results, he might be interested and involved.
Afterwhile
Correct your spelling
After a while
show examples
, he can
competitive
Add a missing verb
be competitive
show examples
and find his
way
. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would agree with these statements. Certainly,
people
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are unequally
show examples
unequally
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unequal
show examples
and
every
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everyone
each
show examples
has
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
way
.
Likewise
, intentions which mentioned. They are
also
make important
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
our social life. And surroundings which
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
mentioned. With these points of view, I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
. They are
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
part of life.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay needs clearer organization. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by explanations or examples. Try to make your arguments more structured and connected throughout the essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction is fine but could be more engaging. Clearly state both sides of the argument, and briefly outline what your own opinion will be. Also, make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your own opinion.
Task Response
Develop your main points further. Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and explain them in more detail. For instance, mentioning specific researchers or studies that support either viewpoint can strengthen your argument.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Although the ideas are present, they are not always clearly expressed. Try to improve the clarity of your ideas and the accuracy of your language. For example, some sentences are challenging to understand due to awkward phrasing or grammatical errors. This can distract readers from your main points.
Task Response
It's good that you acknowledge both views and provide your opinion. This shows that you understand the task requirements.
Supported Main Points
You have made an effort to discuss specific points regarding both viewpoints. This adds depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate abilities
  • genetic make-up
  • inherent aptitude
  • nurturing environment
  • rigorous training
  • proficient
  • initial advantage
  • consistent practice
  • perseverance
  • quality training
  • prodigies
  • dedication
  • long-term success
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