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Band 7.5

Some countries allow old people to work to any age that they want. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #work #age
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Regardless of
age
, some countries allow older individuals to
work
 in both the private and government sectors. I contend that
while
 enabling older generations to
work
 offers significant opportunities for knowledge transfer between older and younger professionals, there are
also
 some drawbacks. First and foremost, certain individuals who are over the retirement
age
 still refuse to settle at home.
Instead
, they display an aspiration to
work
 for many years to come at certain jobs. Some of these people are equipped with tremendous experience and background knowledge in specific works which sometimes brings about revolutionizing solutions targeted towards overcoming the most intricate problems encountered at their organizations.
Consequently
,
such
 magical touches result in revenue surplus, cost savings and efficiency increases in the workplace. Another obvious advantage of letting senior employees
work
 stems from their existing economic situation and the difficulties that they are enduring. Unfortunately, either to support their families or the worsening life circumstances compel the members of the old generation to keep working
although
 they have already passed the retirement
age
 threshold. By giving these people an opportunity to
work
, they will be able to help their families set up better living conditions
as well as
 s seek a feeling of gratification in the sacrifice that they have made for their loved ones to combat poverty.
On the other hand
, from the sustainability of the workforce standpoint, by not regulating the working
age
 limit in workplaces, countries are
also
 creating a big gap in the employment rate between old and young generations.
For example
, in Japan, there is no mandatory retirement
age
 in the general workforce,
thus
, allowing the ageing population to
work
 for an unconditional time period,
further
 widening
this
 employment gap.
Therefore
, a number of young talents with more energy and passion remain unemployed
due to
 the shortage of
work
 in the labour market, disrupting the market dynamics and causing inefficiency. In conclusion, whilst having no working
age
 limit imposed on the ageing population is utterly important and beneficial to the society and country, some countries record negative results in the downward employment rates in younger working groups. Bearing in mind all the aforementioned reasons, I think the advantages of
this
 trend outweigh its demerits.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Clear and well-organized structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and maintain a smooth flow.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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