IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

#students #university #education #right #argument
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Post-secondary
education
Use synonyms
 is necessary for career growth.
Universities
Use synonyms
 provide us with existing information as courses. These courses help us to find the pathways to follow and innovate. The opinions vary regarding the number of
students
Use synonyms
 attending
universities
Use synonyms
 competing for similar careers and the importance of
education
Use synonyms
 for all. First of all, the freedom of choice to learn or to work after 18 years should be decided by an individual. The academia doesn't always keep up with the pace of the industrial revolution. There are
students
Use synonyms
 who are critical thinkers who can provide solutions for existing problems which are not in the textbooks. The university is actually providing you with
education
Use synonyms
 to solve these problems.
However
Linking Words
, if these critical analyzers mentioned above could solve the problems,
then
Linking Words
 the
education
Use synonyms
 provided by the
universities
Use synonyms
 necessarily not going to be useful.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a congested labour market with higher expectations and less productivity. The right to
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
 is a necessity for the growth of an individual. There are various reasons that are affecting the current job market. Labour in certain professions needs licensing. Licensing is ensured through attending and passing courses. Innovative thinking could be applied in these areas but learning the basics is considered important. An increase in the number of
students
Use synonyms
 attending
universities
Use synonyms
 affects the job market every year. The
students
Use synonyms
 should be provided with guidance by academia and industry to understand the pathway which aligns with their goals and need to be focused to be successful in their careers to bring balance to our economy.
Submitted by onlineconsumer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Be sure to develop your arguments more fully with clear examples. This will strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve flow and coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument before stating a clear personal opinion, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly define the topic and your stance, providing a solid framework for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: