Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

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There is an argumentative conception heating a debate

whether

Change preposition

about whether

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dealing with pollution and accommodation problems should be put into priority by the authorities in order to prevent deterioration in

humans’

Fix the agreement mistake

human’

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health. From my point of view, I consider myself an advocate of

this

Linking Words

idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, environmental degradation has detrimental effects on people’s health.

Due to

Linking Words

the development of countries, newly-established factories are springing up

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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, leading to the tremendous emission of lethal gases.

As a result

Linking Words

, the ones who inhale those gases frequently can suffer from a high rate of

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

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respiratory-related disease.

For example

Linking Words

, the residents who live around a factory in Vietnam called Rang Dong, a company that sends out a great amount of carbon dioxide, have suffered from a high rate of

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

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respiratory

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

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like lung cancer.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is essential for the state to tackle the polluted environment.

While

Linking Words

the negative influences of the low-quality habitat are widely acknowledged, living conditions

also

Linking Words

impact directly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the well-being of humans.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that the sewage systems and ventilation in slum areas are not guaranteed and so it not only reduces people’s immunity but

also

Linking Words

stands a good stead for the growth of viruses. Particularly, in

Covid

Correct article usage

the Covid

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epidemic, the dilapidated sectors frequently have the more dramatic spread of

virus

Add an article

the virus

a virus

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that

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

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to the high death tolls of patients.

Thus

Linking Words

, the housing problem should be taken into consideration to ensure people’s health. In conclusion, pollution and residing issues are the two aspects which require

Correct article usage

apply

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concentration from the government in improving in order to maintain a healthy life

Change preposition

for

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humans.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri May 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to connect ideas between paragraphs with linking words or phrases. Additionally, make sure the ideas flow naturally and logically.

task achievement

In task achievement, try to provide a clearer and more comprehensive argument. This can be done by adding more relevant specific examples and exploring different aspects of the argument.

general

To achieve a higher score, include more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to better convey your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the argument.

task achievement

You have chosen relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of a university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Scientists and news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyles prevent further damage. What are your views?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.