IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart provides information about how often people in the USA spent ate fast food from 2003 to 2013.

The bar chart provides information about how often people in the USA spent ate fast food from 2003 to 2013.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of the frequency of the population consuming junk
food
Use synonyms
 in three years comprising 2003, 2006 and 2013 in the United States.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 people lean towards fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a week or 1-2 times a month.
However
Linking Words
, there are fewer individuals who consume unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 every day or have never tried it before.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the fraction of once a week in 2003 was well over 30% and shot up to 33% in 2006 before dropping by 5% in 2013. Once or twice a month came in second place with 30% in 2003 and swang to 33% in 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
 times a week started at roughly 17% in the first year and
then
Linking Words
 oscillated to 16% in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Additionally
Linking Words
, The ratio of a few times a year began at approximately 14% in 2003
as well as
Linking Words
 rising
then
Linking Words
 hovered at exactly 15%. The percentage of the public, who was eating junk
food
Use synonyms
 every day and never had fast
food
Use synonyms
, had a similar trajectory. They occupied 5% and 4% in 2003 and went down,
besides
Linking Words
, levelled off at 4% and 3% throughout the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: