In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

For many
people
in some countries, homeownership is considered a more significant achievement than renting one. There are 3 main reasons, in my opinion, why
this
might be the case.
Firstly
, owning a
home
rather than renting one is more necessary for
people
because of its stability. Homeownership brings
people
safe feelings and sustainable stability. They don’t have to worry about the increase
of
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in
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housing costs or being issued a notice to vacate by their landlord.
Moreover
, owning a
home
usually
makes
Verb problem
gives
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them
feel
Verb problem
apply
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a sense of security and stability, so they
could
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can
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concentrate on other aspects,
such
as their occupation, family or
their
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apply
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habits. Most of my friends said that they had achieved a sense of contentment and fulfilment when they owned a
home
.
Secondly
, in some countries, the real estate prices
tends
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tend
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to rise over time.
Therefore
, purchasing a
home
seems to be a way to invest and accumulate for the future. When buying a
home
or paying off
the
Correct article usage
a
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home
loan, the value of the
home
belongs to the owner,
gives
Correct word choice
and gives
show examples
him or her a large fortune to enjoy the golden years.
For example
, in Vietnam,
the
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apply
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real estate prices have increased 10% annually since 2018.
Last
but not least, when owning a
home
,
owner
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the owner
an owner
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could independently renovate and decorate the
home
without following the landlord’s regulations as when renting.
According to
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research
of
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by
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Havard
university
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University
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,
people
owning a
home
tend to feel happier and more satisfied than the others who rent a
home
or a flat.
According to
the reasons I have mentioned already, I personally think
this
is a positive situation.
People
need to work hard to own a
home
and that would promote the development of society.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, try to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make it more fluid.
task achievement
Your essay covers the main points but could be improved with more specific examples and elaboration on the ideas.
task achievement
Some sentences can be clearer and more concise. For example, '...the value of the home belongs to the owner, gives him or her a large fortune...' could be rephrased to '...the value of the home belongs to the owner, providing them with a significant asset...'.
task achievement
Consider providing a brief counterargument to demonstrate critical thinking, such as mentioning the potential negatives of homeownership.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction that clearly sets the context and a conclusion that sums up the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and covers the main reasons why homeownership is important.
task achievement
You’ve provided relevant examples, like the increase in real estate prices in Vietnam, which strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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