IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You play a team sport with some friends. Last week, a member of the team had an accident and wasn’t able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him in the hospital, telling him about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter tell him which team won describe the conditions of the day say how you felt about the match

#team #sport #friends #week #member #accident #wasn’t #weekend #match #friend #conditions
Dear Rahul, I writing
this
 email in grief that you met an accident a week ago and, missed the opportunity to play with us at the national level. You would be glad to know that the match went exactly as we planned. All the strategies and team efforts worked well and, we won easily and qualified to the finals.
Moreover
, the was sunny and some extra efforts were put
by
Change preposition
in by
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 the organization to make it more enjoyable and interesting
such
 as a
sitting
Correct your spelling
seating
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 arrangement for the audience. The whole team was extremely happy but at the same time, we all missed you badly. I wish
,
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apply
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it was you with us in the match but unfortunately, you couldn't make it. You don't need to worry about your health because I talked to the doctor regarding your recovery. Get well soon. I hope to see you again as a team member. Yours lovingly, Talwinder Singh
Submitted by sandhuarsh1320 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you fully address all three points of the task. Though you covered the result of the match and a bit about the day, you could deepen your description of the match's conditions and explicit details on how you felt to more vividly satisfy the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs, ensuring smoother transitions. While the structure is generally good, enhancing connections between thoughts can improve the reader's experience.
general
Editing for grammatical accuracy and polishing the beginning of your letter (e.g., 'I am writing this letter' instead of 'I writing this email') can strengthen your expression and the reader's comprehension.
general
Invest time in accurately closing your letter to match the relationship and the context. For instance, 'Yours lovingly' could be replaced with a neutral, friendly closing when writing to a friend about a sports match.
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