You recently went to a public event (for example an exhibition, festival, or show) that you think your friend would enjoy. Write a letter to friend. In your letter • tell your friend what the event was • explain why you think your friend would like the event invite them to come to the event with you

#event #exhibition #show #friend

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dear Raju, Hope you are hale and healthy. Recently I went to a

yoga

festival near Hougang and I had a great experience.

Hence

, I wanted to invite you

for

Change preposition

show examples

the next

event

which will happen in 1

month

Change noun form

month's

show examples

time.

Also

, It's been a

while

since we met and it would be a better way to meet

while

we practise some

yoga

moves. The

yoga

event

was conducted by a famous

yoga

master Shri. Sambhav, who has almost 25 years of

yoga

experience. He has thought these ancient yogic moves all around the globe and most of the reviews from the followers are highly positive.

Moreover

through out

Correct your spelling

throughout

show examples

the

event

master

Add an article

the master

show examples

would provide lots of interesting tips that

enhances

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhance

show examples

our concentration and performance. I know you are into health and fitness and

hence

, I believe

this

session would

better

Add a missing verb

be better

show examples

suited for you. The next

event

would occur in a month's time in the same Hougang stadium avenue. Since the

registeration

Correct your spelling

registration

is only for

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

time, I want you to register it before next weekend. Hope to see you soon. Best regards, Ram

Submitted by nusramkumar on Fri May 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down long sentences to enhance readability. This will help maintain the reader's interest and ensure your ideas are clearly communicated.

coherence cohesion

Make sure all paragraphs focus on a single main idea. This will improve the clarity and coherence of your letter.

task achievement

Check for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and the use of proper tenses, to improve the overall quality of your writing.

task achievement

You provided a complete response, addressing all points in the task prompt effectively.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is conversational and friendly, making it appropriate for writing to a friend.

coherence cohesion

Good use of an opening and closing that helped structure the letter well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

182 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
There is no denying the fact that the importance of economics and developing financial success by increasing business chances. While it is commonly held belief that it is better to change public spaces to residential areas. There is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I believe that these public parks are important in our life which plays many crucial roles.
6
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some students in universities would like to learn other subjects while learning their main subjects. Others think they prefer spending a lot of time studying and qualifying their school lives. I think that it depends on their lives and where they are studying in academic courses. In this essay, my opinions are going to be explained.
5
band
In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
Since the technology has improved and mobile phones have become more popular among people, payment methods will be changed from using cash to electronical money transformation by means of cards or smartphones. This trend has proved to bring more convenience to people's life and be beneficial to the environment as well, so it can be predicted that paper money will be disappeared in the future. However, lack of knowledge and literacy with regard to electronic devices may have caused some inconvenience for older generations that they still prefer to use cash.
<4
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?
Today's world, technology has become integral part of our lives and people's can life without it. The reacher seen that alots of kids illness as a result addiction on their smartphones. In my opinion the negative overweight the positive. In this essay I will explain why the drawbacks more then benefits.
7.5
band
Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
In the modern era, people, who live in this contemporary society, with stress-related issues have become relatively common compared to the past. For this phenomenon, there might be complicated causes of this issue such as heavy pressure from work and study and a high level of anxiety from competitions. However, fortunately, there would be possible solutions to address the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?