IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the amount of money spennt on books in Germany , France , Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spennt on books in Germany , France , Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
#amount #money #spennt #books #germany #france #austria
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The line chart illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of money expenses
for
Change preposition
on
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 books in 4 European countries including Germany, France, Italy, and Austria from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
, it can be seen that all of
countries
Add an article
the countries
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 experienced
uptrend
Correct article usage
an uptrend
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in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
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. Looking in more detail, France and Italy had a similar pattern. France began at over 50
milions
Correct your spelling
million
dollars
 in 1995.
Then
, there was a steady
rose
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rise
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1999
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in 1999
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. It reached
Change the word
its
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the
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 highest
Change preposition
in
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
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 2001 and
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
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 by a significant increase until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the end of
frame
Add an article
the frame
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 time.
Whereas
, Germany stood at 80
milions
Correct your spelling
million
dollars
 and continued by a dramatic increase
im
Correct your spelling
in
 1999. The expense steadily declined until 2003
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by a sharp
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in 2005. In the meantime, Austria started at 30
milions
Correct your spelling
million
millions
dollars
.
Then
, gradually increased until 1999.
Next,
it experienced a
fluctution
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
 and rose significantly
about
Change preposition
to about
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 70
milions
Correct your spelling
million
millions
dollars
.
Lasty
Correct your spelling
Lastly
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Germany experienced a fluctuation between 1995 to 1999.
Moreover
, there was a gradual
rose
Replace the word
rise
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about
Change preposition
in
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 the money
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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required for
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
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 income in 2005.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words milions, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • surge
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • steady
  • comparison
  • significant change
  • spending patterns
  • economic conditions
  • cultural factors
  • cross-country comparison
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