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Band 5.5

What measures can be taken to control controll violence among students? Provide three solutions with good reasons and examples from your reading, experience, or observations to support your point of view.

#measures #control #controll #violence #students #three #support #point
Schooling
violence
 is one of the most persistent problems in educational institutions. For me, there are three approaches every
school
 can follow to create a safe studying environment for their
students
.
Firstly
, training programs against
violence
 should be held frequently. These include the lessons about how to recognize the signs of
school
violence
 and how to address it are crucial.
Violence
 can manifest in various forms, and not all
students
 may be aware that they're experiencing it or know how to respond. Equipping them with the knowledge and basic skills to identify and deal with
school
violence
 is essential for self-protection.
Secondly
, providing
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 and support services is
also
 helpful. Schools can offer
students
 a safe space to discuss their concerns and seek help if they're experiencing or witnessing
violence
.
For example
, a student facing bullying can seek support from
school
counselors
Change the spelling
counsellors
show examples
 to develop coping strategies and resolve conflicts efficiently.
Additionally
, Schools can collaborate with external organizations,
such
 as mental health clinics or community outreach programs, to provide additional resources and support to
students
 in need.
Last
 but not least, it is essential to set clear rules and enforce strict punishment for those who violate schoolmates which sends a strong message that
school
violence
 will not be tolerated.
This
 can serve as a deterrent and help maintain a safe environment for all
students
. To summarize, tackling
school
violence
 involves a multifaceted approach that includes training programs,
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 services, and stringent rule enforcement.
Submitted by minhngoc.dtmn on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a good response to the task, but ensure that each point is supported with relevant specific examples to enhance the argument.
task achievement
While the points are clear and comprehensive, adding more varied and in-depth examples would enrich your essay.
coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure smooth transitions between points and avoid repetition.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes and ties the essay together nicely.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is clear, setting out the main approaches to be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear main points.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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