IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that the Government should break down all the historic buildings and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #buildings
It is an undeniable fact that every
country
’s monuments and historic sites are their heritage. Surprisingly, there are some who feel it is less valued and want the government to pull it down. In my opinion, these are the greatest assets of every
country
 and deserve respectful attitudes by citizens. To embark on, in the justification of my notion, every
country
 has its own cultural history that exhibits old civilization. These historic sites are priceless and irreplaceable.
This
 is the only way to appraise the next generation about our ancestors and their sacrifices.
Moreover
, visiting these locations will help us to learn from our ancestor’s lapse and provide a better course of action.
Furthermore
, these locations are the best source of revenue income for the government. Tourists visit different places and their spending helps the government to improve the Infrastructure of the
country
.
Moreover
, tourists show their interest in purchasing handicrafts which results in the growth of a small-scale industry. It increases the flow of foreign money.
Above all
 questions, it is quite apparent that tourist visits lead to good bonding among people across the world. In conclusion, I feel that preserving historical sites means saving the history of the
country
. It has Paramount importance because of its array of benefits for existing and forthcoming generations.
Submitted by u.umayal92 on

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task response
To further enhance your essay, consider including more specific examples and data to support your points. For instance, mention a particular historic site that brings significant revenue through tourism or a case where preserving a monument has benefited the community.
task response
Review some grammatical aspects, such as ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. For instance, in the phrase "preserving historical sites means saving the history," consider adding 'the' before 'history' for better clarity.
task response
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt by clearly stating your opinion and supporting it with relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct main idea, making it easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use cohesive devices such as "moreover" and "furthermore" to connect your ideas and maintain the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • invaluable assets
  • tangible connection
  • architectural heritage
  • modernization
  • energy efficiency
  • adaptive reuse
  • historical significance
  • economic implications
  • sustainable
  • green technologies
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