The table below gives information about students enrolments at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and 2008.

The table below gives information about students enrolments at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and 2008.
The table gives information about the registration of
students
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bristol
University in different years,
accordingly
1928, 1958 and 2008. The table compares the
percentage
of enrolments of
students
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
Bristol
University
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
three different years.
It is clear that
in each period the number of admitted candidates increased significantly. In 1928 the
males
captured the biggest proportion of admitted
students
with the number of 58
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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,
while
the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
applied
Correct pronoun usage
who applied
show examples
from abroad
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the lowest with 5 %. When it came to the data in 1958 there was a considerable decrease from 42% to 32% in the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
female
students
. The same trend was
also
observed in the acceptance of student
percentage
within 30 miles
Bristol
Change preposition
of Bristol
show examples
students
as from 50% to 14%.
On the other hand
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the proportion the
males
and
students
from abroad increased in 1958. The figure for
males
increased
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
10% from 58 to 68 and the date
Change preposition
of
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
foreign
students
gradually climbed from 5% to 6%. When it comes to 2008,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
percentage
of admitted foreign
students
had an enormous growth from 6% to 28%. There was
also
a considerable climb in the proportion of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
from 32% to 54 %. In 2008 the
percentage
of admitted
students
from 30 miles within
Bristol
dramatically
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
to 1-2 %
while
for
males
the same trend followed from 68% to 46 %. (Samir Nabiyev)
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, bristol, percentage, males with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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