Fast-paced modern lifestyles have led to people eating more and more fast food at the expense of more traditional meals. Do the advantages of eating more fast food outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays becoming the junk
food
of biggest
eating around the world, because faster to prepare Correct article usage
the biggest
it
and inexpensive compared to traditional Correct pronoun usage
apply
meals
.Individual
Add an article
The individual
An individual
is prefer
in recent Change the verb form
is preferred
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
eating
more than fast Wrong verb form
eat
food
on cooking meals
. For this
essay , I completely disagree with the people have eating
Wrong verb form
eat
this
Correct determiner usage
these
meals
, beacuse
harmful effect our Correct your spelling
because
live
and health.
On the one hand , the prevalence of junk Replace the word
lives
food
by
an Change preposition
apply
increase
several restaurants Replace the word
increased
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
offering
Change the form of the verb
offer
this
type of food
.However
with Add a comma
However,
rise
Add an article
the rise
Change preposition
in
of
prices for Change preposition
in
Correct determiner usage
these
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
meals
It remains the preferred choice among consumers.In Add a comma
meals,
additional
through recent research Replace the word
addition
find
of scientists; for every 10 restaurants in the neighborhoods of New York City in the United States of America, there are 8 restaurants that specialize in serving fast Fix the agreement mistake
findings
food
.I believe must
be Correct pronoun usage
this must
on
the government's promotion Change preposition
apply
for
rule control of health,Change preposition
of
throughout
placing a tax on fast Change preposition
through
food
, which may reduce its consumption. It is considered this
type of food
main reasons to
obesity, Change preposition
for
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
contain
a large amount of oil.
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
On the other hand
, Fast food
this meaning
less Wrong verb form
means
time
to eating
Wrong verb form
eat
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of
It does not take much Change preposition
apply
time
to cook.so that, population
Correct article usage
the population
are likes
available in every Verb problem
is
places
Change to a singular noun
place
such
as , Street
, occupation Correct your spelling
the street
place
and tourist and entertainment sites. Fix the agreement mistake
places
Subsequently
may be a compelling reason, regardless of its higher price than similar ones.According to
National Health Research in Kingdom Saudi
Arabia ,a study was conducted on workers at Aramco, and it was about 90% of people prefer fast Change preposition
of Saudi
food
over cooked food
,
because it does not take a long Remove the comma
apply
time
, even if it is at a higher price.
In conclusion, a persons
are likes Fix the agreement mistake
person
a junk
Remove the article
junk food
a portion of junk food
food
, beacuse
easy to prepare and does not take much Correct your spelling
because
time
.The price is not a decisive factor in replacing it with others, but rather time
is the important and decisive factor.Submitted by saad.444221 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and logically to improve the flow of your essay. You can use transition words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that you are addressing all parts of the task prompt in your response to achieve a higher task response score. Focus on discussing both the advantages and disadvantages clearly.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure; this can make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to address the prompt and provide a stance on the issue, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame your essay well.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples, such as the study on workers in Saudi Arabia, to support your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite