Fast-paced modern lifestyles have led to people eating more and more fast food at the expense of more traditional meals. Do the advantages of eating more fast food outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays becoming the junk
food
of
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
eating around the world, because faster to prepare
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and inexpensive compared to traditional
meals
.
Individual
Add an article
The individual
An individual
show examples
is prefer
Change the verb form
is preferred
show examples
in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
more than fast
food
on cooking
meals
. For
this
essay , I completely disagree with the people have
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
meals
,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
harmful effect our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and health. On the one hand , the prevalence of junk
food
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
several restaurants
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offering
Change the form of the verb
offer
show examples
this
type of
food
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
with
rise
Add an article
the rise
show examples
Change preposition
in
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
prices for
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
meals
Add a comma
meals,
show examples
It remains the preferred choice among consumers.In
additional
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addition
show examples
through recent research
find
Fix the agreement mistake
findings
show examples
of scientists; for every 10 restaurants in the neighborhoods of New York City in the United States of America, there are 8 restaurants that specialize in serving fast
food
.I believe
must
Correct pronoun usage
this must
show examples
be
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the government's promotion
for
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of
show examples
rule control of health,
throughout
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through
show examples
placing a tax on fast
food
, which may reduce its consumption. It is considered
this
type of
food
main reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
obesity,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
a large amount of oil.
On the other hand
, Fast
food
this meaning
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
less
time
to
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
It does not take much
time
to cook.so that,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
are likes
Verb problem
is
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available in every
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
such
as
, Street
Correct your spelling
the street
, occupation
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
and tourist and entertainment sites.
Subsequently
may be a compelling reason, regardless of its higher price than similar ones.
According to
National Health Research in Kingdom
Saudi
Change preposition
of Saudi
show examples
Arabia ,a study was conducted on workers at Aramco, and it was about 90% of people prefer fast
food
over cooked
food
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it does not take a long
time
, even if it is at a higher price. In conclusion, a
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
are likes
a junk
Remove the article
junk food
a portion of junk food
show examples
food
,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
easy to prepare and does not take much
time
.The price is not a decisive factor in replacing it with others, but rather
time
is the important and decisive factor.
Submitted by saad.444221 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and logically to improve the flow of your essay. You can use transition words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that you are addressing all parts of the task prompt in your response to achieve a higher task response score. Focus on discussing both the advantages and disadvantages clearly.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure; this can make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to address the prompt and provide a stance on the issue, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame your essay well.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples, such as the study on workers in Saudi Arabia, to support your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-efficient
  • quick service
  • economical
  • cost-effective
  • diversity of cuisine
  • flavorful
  • nutritional deficit
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • cultural erosion
  • packaging waste
  • ecological footprint
  • family dynamics
  • healthier alternatives
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • traditional meals
  • take-out culture
  • trans fat content
  • caloric intake
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