IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information; therefore, there is no need for printed books, magazines, and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspapers
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No one can deny that the development of technology is progressing rapidly, allowing
people
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 to access any
information
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 they need with just one click.
People
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 are increasingly using computers and many other electronic devices rather than
books
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, magazines, and newspapers to update data and knowledge rapidly.
Therefore
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, I believe that newspapers and paperbacks will become scarce in the future
due to
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 the decline in their readership. There are several reasons why
people
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 are abandoning printed
books
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 in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of new devices.
First,
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by using a smartphone or tablet,
people
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 can store all their
books
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 in one device, making it easy to carry and much lighter than carrying all the
books
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 in a backpack.
Additionally
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,
people
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 can access
information
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 quickly by typing keywords into a search engine on their computers or other gadgets. All the
information
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 they are looking for is readily available online.
Finally
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, the use of technology helps reduce paper consumption, which in turn helps to stop deforestation, benefiting the environment.
However
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, there are
also
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 negative impacts,
such
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 as the closure of bookstores
due to
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 the decreased demand for printed
books
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.
This
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 not only leads to the closure of bookstores but
also
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 increases unemployment, as store employees and publishers may be forced into early retirement.
Furthermore
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, older
people
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 may find it challenging to use new technology to seek
information
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, so they still rely on printed
books
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 to read. In conclusion, despite the negative consequences
such
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 as closing bookstores and increasing unemployment, I believe it is still worthwhile to use new technological devices
such
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 as computers, smartphones, and other gadgets to access
information
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 and knowledge quickly.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear stance on the issue with relevant arguments and examples. To take it to the next level, consider providing more specific examples to support your points, which can enhance your argument's depth and richness.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow and structure, you can improve coherence by using a greater variety of linking words and transitional phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. This will make your argument even more compelling and easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly framing the discussion and summarizing your main points effectively. This is essential in maintaining the reader's interest and providing a strong closing statement.
coherence cohesion
You have provided logical and structured arguments, supporting your stance on the shift from printed materials to digital sources. This logical progression helps in reinforcing your viewpoint clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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