The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations cause? what are the solutions to address those problems?
The distance between the
wealth
and the poor is greatly extensive, as the situation of these both simultaneously Replace the word
wealthy
reach
their side. Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
This
writer believes that the tremendous influence on economy
engaged by Correct article usage
the economy
this
issue, however
the
financial support can be Correct article usage
apply
outed
to address Verb problem
sought
this
issue.
Concerning the exceeding impact on economical
Replace the word
economic
problem
which is imminent by the discrimination between the rich and the poor. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
In other words
, a debate from
these 2 sides Change preposition
between
tend
to have a harassment to economy which means demolishing the commercial Change the verb form
tends
site
of the nations. Fix the agreement mistake
sites
Otherwise
, it easily forms a crisis that can be prolonged with many harsh circumstances for both 2 modes of residents
. Taking the UK as a prime example, in 1950 there was a recession that Fix the agreement mistake
residence
occured
in a hardship phase, these intricacies were the consequences Correct your spelling
occurred
from
the extended range of the poor and the rich.
But there is a reasonable solution that must be noticed is Change preposition
of
that
a welfare Correct word choice
apply
supplying
for those who are Replace the word
supply
in
poor. Change preposition
apply
This
can balance the gap by enhancing the life standard with a chunk of facilities along with
enough food supplies. Meanwhile, it also
assists these folk to facilitate
economic adversities Change preposition
in facilitating
which is relating
to debt or the shortage in domestic income which Wrong verb form
related
then
leads to a sustainable life in a
Correct article usage
the
long-term
. Witnessing Russia linking to Correct your spelling
long term
this
solution, the gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
regislates
new regulations in order to give imperative support to those who are in difficult Correct your spelling
legislates
legislate
condition
with the contribution from the wealth to organize several venues for Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
obtaning
cost-effective foods and beverages.
In conclusion, the savage effect on Correct your spelling
obtaining
economy
is the main cause for the gap between the poor and the rich, Add an article
the economy
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
the
help Correct article usage
apply
in
money can be Change preposition
with
a
best Change the article
the
solutiion
.Correct your spelling
solution
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task achievement
The essay attempts to address both problems and solutions regarding the widening gap between the rich and the poor. However, the explanation and examples provided are sometimes unclear or not thoroughly developed. Try to elaborate more on the specific problems caused by economic inequality, such as social unrest or decreased economic mobility.
coherence cohesion
The essay’s overall structure is present with an introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs is sometimes weak. Use cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in contrast) more effectively to link ideas and ensure smooth transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains some awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that can obscure meaning. Work on sentence structure and clarity. For instance, "Otherwise, it easily forms a crisis that can be prolonged" could be clearer as "Otherwise, it can easily lead to a prolonged crisis."
task achievement
Relevant examples are given, such as the UK recession in 1950 and Russia's welfare policies. However, these examples could be better tied to the explanation of how they solve or illustrate the problems mentioned. Make sure the examples directly support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
The writer makes an effort to provide real-world examples to support their points, which strengthens their argument.
task achievement
The attempt to address both the problems and solutions is noted, showing a comprehensive understanding of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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