It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

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It becomes very vital to understand
which
Correct word choice
whether
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the matter is
right
or wrong for
kids
at an early age. Society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that
punishment
is crucial as a way to assist
children
learn about
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
. I totally disagree with
this
statement because
this
will provide
an
Correct article usage
apply
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emotional
pain
and
children
are unable to learn in
dept
Correct your spelling
depth
show examples
maximally.
Moreover
, I strongly believe that
firm
Correct article usage
a firm
show examples
warning is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
method for
this
case.
To begin
,
punishment
is not solely a great way for
kids
to learn the distinction
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
the thing is
right
or wrong because
this
potentially causes emotional
pain
. During
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
phase,
this
will be normal if
children
often forget to
differ
Replace the word
differentiate
show examples
right
and wrong. In
this
situation, as an adult, if we give them many
punishment
Change to a plural noun
punishments
show examples
, it will lead to
kids
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
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stressed and
despressed
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depressed
.
Finally
,
this
will trigger
an
Correct article usage
apply
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emotional
pain
grows
Verb problem
apply
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in
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
punishment
also
makes
children
unable
understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand
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about
Change preposition
apply
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right
and wrong
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
maximally. Because there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more demand
instead
of good guidance and direction from adults.
However
, I assume
punishment
can be replaced by giving a firm warning. Parents can give
warning
Fix the agreement mistake
warnings
show examples
as a way to guide their
children
to
distinct
Replace the word
distinguish
show examples
right
and wrong matters. Sooner or later, if
this
method
implements
Wrong verb form
is implemented
show examples
regularly, it will cause increasing awareness of
children
in order to be careful and
wiseful
Correct your spelling
wise
wistful
wishful
in every they will take an action. To
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
up, as mentioned earlier, I disagree about
punishment
for
kids
. Because
this
will cause
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
emotional
pain
and
children
are unable to learn deeply about
right
Add an article
the right
a right
show examples
and wrong
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
.
Moreover
,
instead
of giving
punisment
Correct your spelling
punishment
, a firm warning
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more effective in
ordrer
Correct your spelling
order
to assist
children
about what is
right
and wrong.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Try to expand and provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will help make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear structure, make sure to use a range of linking words and phrases to create a seamless flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Work on fixing grammar issues and increasing vocabulary use to improve the clarity and accuracy of your arguments.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion and justification, which demonstrates good understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You present a viable alternative to punishment, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral education
  • decision-making
  • appropriate punishment
  • reinforce
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • natural consequences
  • harsh punishment
  • emotional damage
  • positive reinforcement
  • fair and measured punishments
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