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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It might be said that protecting the environment is the most important challenge facing governments today. How important do you feel this issue is? Are there other challenges which are of equal or greater importance?

#environment #challenge #governments #challenges #importance
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Environmental issues are a concern for almost everyone today, as we see the natural world suffering increasing damage from pollution, construction and other human activity.
However
, to say that governments should regard
this
 one issue as their main priority may be a rather simplistic view. Admittedly, it is correct that environmental protection should be among our greatest concerns. Without coordinated measures from national and global organisations, the environment will continue to deteriorate, leading to a more unstable world for us all.
However
, by focussing on
this
 topic to the exclusion of others we run the risk of neglecting a range of other, equally grave challenges. Foremost among these other challenges appears to be the question of overpopulation, by which I mean the growth of human numbers beyond the ability of the human race to support itself. If
this
 problem is not addressed, we potentially face the collapse of modern human society, and
consequently
 the ability of the human race to combat the environmental damage which has already taken place. Another challenge which is at least equal to the environment is the need to reduce poverty and disease in less developed countries, which again would enable those populations to play a larger part in attempts to preserve nature.
Finally
, there is the question of unemployment and the need to find ways to reduce
this
 problem. By increasing the number of people
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work throughout the world, governments would create the revenues and economic stability required to make environmental protection more viable.
Overall
, the environment is certainly a major priority.
However
, it should be seen as one among a range of issues to be solved, and the solutions themselves could lead to better preservation of nature.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure each paragraph fully develops a single clear idea that directly addresses the question. Integrate a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing your essay's depth and persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a stronger coherence and cohesion score, utilize a diverse array of linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Although your essay has a strong structure, varying your transitional expressions can make your argumentation even more fluid and natural.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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