Some people believe that parents should teach children how to be good members of society while others say it should be taught by school .What is your opinion?
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Half the people consider that
should know how to be a good member of society from their
whenCorrect word choice
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others think it is the school's job. In my opinion both of them
necessaryAdd a missing verb
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for
's future.
Body paragraph 1
Of
from
we see our
and take
an examplesCorrect the article-noun agreement
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from them. So the role of
in how
grow up is big. That's why it is important that our
teach us everything.
Body paragraph 2
But school
alsoAdd a missing verb
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a part of society. And
spend half of their days at school listening to teachers.
every child was taught that they needed to listen to teachers. So getting
a Correct article usage
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good
advicesChange the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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and examples from them
veryAdd a missing verb
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helpful.
Conclusion
In
we see that all these facts show us that both
and schools play a big role in ensuring that
grow up to be good persons.
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1. Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion. An introduction should clearly outline what the essay will cover, and a conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the opinion.
2. Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive.
3. Improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion. Transitional phrases and connectors can be helpful.
1. Work on structuring your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and should logically follow one another.
2. Make sure that each point you make is fully developed with explanations, evidence, or examples.
3. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a balanced view, recognizing the roles of both parents and schools.
The argument is generally clear and easy to follow. There's a logic to how points are presented, even if they could be better developed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.