More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?
There is a trend these days for people from provision of
Correct article usage
the counytryside
counytryside
to shift to bigger towns for better job prospects.Correct your spelling
countryside
This
essay will first discuss the potential outcomes of Linking Words
this
development on the national agricultural revenue generation and overcrowding of cities and Linking Words
then
will offer viable solutions including rural development and providing incentives to the farmers.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the migration of villagers to cities is causing nations to lose their profits from agriculture.If the skilled people leave the profession of farming Linking Words
then
there will be less production of crops in the region which will be barely sufficient to sustain the local population.Linking Words
However
, it will not be enough for export to other countries Linking Words
thus
causing a major drop in the government exchequer.Linking Words
For instance
, Pakistan was an agricultural country in Linking Words
1960s
with 70 Change the article
the 1960s
percent
of its land devoted Change the spelling
per cent
for
farming and earned a lot of profit by selling wheat to other nations but now with Change preposition
to
urbanization
it has to import wheat from its neighbours.Add a comma
urbanization,
In addition
, the influx of migrants to metropolitans Linking Words
result
in overcrowding of these areas.Change the verb form
results
This
leads to traffic congestion and air pollution Linking Words
of
these regions.
In order to tackle Change preposition
in
with
Change preposition
apply
this
phenomenon, the governments should provide more facilities in the village areas .Linking Words
This
means that Linking Words
availability
of hotels and shopping malls in the countryside will create more job opportunities for locals.Correct article usage
the availability
Moreover
,Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
subsidy
to Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
the
farm workers will motivate them to continue working in their profession.Correct article usage
apply
This
way, they can have enough budget to look after their families and do their jobs religiously.Linking Words
For instance
, the government of India gave Linking Words
a
relief to its farmers in 2015 by providing fertilizers free of cost which doubled its wheat exports in three years.
In conclusion, the relocation of villagers to Remove the article
apply
metropolis
for good employment will have a detrimental effect on a nation's economy and will Correct article usage
a metropolis
also
cause the industrial hubs to be overcrowded with a polluted atmosphere.The practical approach to Linking Words
this
quagmire would be to reward the countrymen who are doing farming with money and by providing civic facilities in their hometowns.Linking Words
Submitted by alishah2294 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure in the introduction and conclusion. Specifically, stating the consequences and solutions more explicitly in these sections can help improve logical flow.
task achievement
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For instance, 'counytryside' should be 'countryside', and 'In order to tackle with this phenomenon' should be corrected to 'In order to tackle this phenomenon'. Proofreading or using grammar check tools can help.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs devoted to each point.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Pakistan and India, which support your main points effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...