More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

There is a trend these days for people from
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the counytryside
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counytryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
to shift to bigger towns for better job prospects.
This
essay will first discuss the potential outcomes of
this
development on the national agricultural revenue generation and overcrowding of cities and
then
will offer viable solutions including rural development and providing incentives to the farmers.
Firstly
, the migration of villagers to cities is causing nations to lose their profits from agriculture.If the skilled people leave the profession of farming
then
there will be less production of crops in the region which will be barely sufficient to sustain the local population.
However
, it will not be enough for export to other countries
thus
causing a major drop in the government exchequer.
For instance
, Pakistan was an agricultural country in
1960s
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the 1960s
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with 70
percent
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per cent
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of its land devoted
for
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to
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farming and earned a lot of profit by selling wheat to other nations but now with
urbanization
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urbanization,
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it has to import wheat from its neighbours.
In addition
, the influx of migrants to metropolitans
result
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results
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in overcrowding of these areas.
This
leads to traffic congestion and air pollution
of
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in
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these regions. In order to tackle
with
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apply
show examples
this
phenomenon, the governments should provide more facilities in the village areas .
This
means that
availability
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the availability
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of hotels and shopping malls in the countryside will create more job opportunities for locals.
Moreover
,
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the
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provision of
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
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to
the
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apply
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farm workers will motivate them to continue working in their profession.
This
way, they can have enough budget to look after their families and do their jobs religiously.
For instance
, the government of India gave
a
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apply
show examples
relief to its farmers in 2015 by providing fertilizers free of cost which doubled its wheat exports in three years. In conclusion, the relocation of villagers to
metropolis
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a metropolis
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for good employment will have a detrimental effect on a nation's economy and will
also
cause the industrial hubs to be overcrowded with a polluted atmosphere.The practical approach to
this
quagmire would be to reward the countrymen who are doing farming with money and by providing civic facilities in their hometowns.
Submitted by alishah2294 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure in the introduction and conclusion. Specifically, stating the consequences and solutions more explicitly in these sections can help improve logical flow.
task achievement
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For instance, 'counytryside' should be 'countryside', and 'In order to tackle with this phenomenon' should be corrected to 'In order to tackle this phenomenon'. Proofreading or using grammar check tools can help.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs devoted to each point.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Pakistan and India, which support your main points effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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