In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

#countries #people #ages #sports #exercises #trend #disadvanatges #reason

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this

modern world, exercise and sports have become an integral part of many

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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. Some believe that time spent on

such

activities has no major advantages, as it wastes their time and hampers productivity.

However

, based on my experience, I believe that all these physical activity trends have huge advantages as they promote a healthy life.

To begin

with, the major advantage of

this

trend is quite straightforward. It improves health and prevents diseases from affecting the body.

According to

a recent survey, Cardiovascular and Diabetes are the two most deadly diseases which affect our adult population. It is proven that people who are involved in regular games tend to have a lower probability of getting these complications. Since medical expenses are quite high nowadays, preventing health-related problems from occurring by undertaking regular exercises would be the best strategy

looking

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for looking

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ahead.

Moreover

, apart from the physical benefits,

this

new movement plays a pivotal role in reducing stress and improving the mood of the population. When a person is involved in any physical sports, a hormone called "Dophomine",

also

called "Happy Hormone" releases

Change preposition

into

show examples

their body.

This

reduces anxiety levels and induces happiness, which in turn boosts productivity.

Hence

this

lifestyle can improve the economy of a country, if it is adopted country-wide. So

to conclude

, in my opinion, there are no major caveats in

following

this

healthy trend.

In contrast

, it has a multitude of benefits strengthening both our mind and body.

Thus

such

lifestyles should be welcomed globally and the local governments should support

such

initiatives.

Submitted by nusramkumar on Sat May 18 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular sports or exercises that help reduce cardiovascular diseases.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases more effectively. Consider starting the second paragraph with a phrase like, 'Firstly, the major advantage of...',' and the third paragraph with, 'Furthermore, apart from physical benefits...' to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument effectively.

task achievement

Your points are well-supported and relevant to the question, making your argument convincing.

task achievement

The essay addresses both physical and mental benefits of sports and exercises, providing a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cardiovascular health
Chronic diseases
Mental well-being
Teamwork
Social interaction
Risk of injuries
Overtraining syndrome
Physical fitness
Stress
Fatigue
Accessibility
Inequality
Health disparities

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In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?