IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph below shows the number of tourists visiting two different cities by season.

The bar graph below shows the number of tourists visiting two different cities by season.
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The bar graph below gives information about the sum of
visitors
Use synonyms
 reaching
Dover
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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 and
Troy
Use synonyms
 city in 4 different seasons including spring, summer, fall and winter.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that there was an upward trend in the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists visiting
Dover
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure for
Troy
Use synonyms
 witnessed a stable trend over the given time frame. In spring, the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists who chose to visit
Dover
Use synonyms
 was 5,000 travellers. Over the next season, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Dover
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased slightly to about 10,000
people
Use synonyms
 in summer. After that, it witnessed a gradual rise to 15,000
people
Use synonyms
 in
fall
Correct article usage
the fall
show examples
. The sum of
visitors
Use synonyms
 coming to
Dover
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased to 25,000 travellers in winter. It is
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy that the variety of holidaymakers going to
Troy
Use synonyms
 city was nearly 5,000
people
Use synonyms
 in spring. Over the next season, the
number
Use synonyms
 of travellers paying a visit to
Troy
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of approximately 22,000
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, since
then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure
fell
Wrong verb form
has fallen
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 steadily to 20,000 tourists in
fall
Correct article usage
the fall
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, the variety of
visitors
Use synonyms
 visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Troy
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant decrease to only 5,000
people
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, dover, troy, number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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