IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with statment?

#governments #money #railways #roads #statment
I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
repairing
roads
 is more necessary than railways. I`m going to mention my reasons with
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 in
this
 article. Railways are not as important as
roads
 are, because the uses of them are not a lot, but 75% of people travel by self-transport vehicles which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than half and it`s so necessary to
repairing
Change the form of the verb
repair
show examples
 them.
For example
, a family who wants to go on a trip prefer to use their car to be able to stop whenever or everywhere they like, to enjoy places that are so nice with good weather, if they travel by train, they can`t do it. So it needs to repair the road be in first creation. As far as the cost of repairing railways is concerned, needs more time and more human workers it`s a hard project.
Although
 these steps are not so hard for
roads
, it`s just need machines like tractors and trace.
Also
, rails are made by folds and they are not injured easily. There is no need to spend a lot of time and cost for them which are not so useful. All in all, road repair is necessary because
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
usses
Correct your spelling
use
uses
 of them is really more than all the transportation.
Also
, the range of accidents on bad
roads
 is getting more and more
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every day.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and gives a brief outline of the reasons you will discuss. This will help provide better context for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better by starting each one with a clear topic sentence. This will help improve the logical structure and make your points easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and syntax to express your ideas more clearly. This will also improve the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides examples to support the argument. This shows an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Using an example of a family trip effectively demonstrates the advantages of road transport over rail transport in a relatable manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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