In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #shootings #becausee #people #guns #home

There are countries around the world where we have seen an increased number of shootings than before, and many think that the primary reason behind

this

is that many

people

these days keep weapons like guns and pistols at home;

however

, I disagree with

this

statement because there are other reasons for

this

scenario as well which I shall discuss in my essay. The first and foremost reason for my disagreement is that;

however

, it is an inevitable

fact

that many individuals have guns at home, but

this

is not the only reason for increased shootings. Media, television, illegal use of weapons and drugs which

people

watch in movies, and video games, all these factors influence a person in a negative way and

also

make them aggressive in their behaviour, which later excites them for wicked activities like shooting and in

fact

murder.

Moreover

, many children and adults play video games these days which have violent actions like shooting, stabbing, and killing, which leads to aggression in them, and

this

behaviour makes them stubborn,

for example

, Pubgee, Angry

birds

Capitalize word

Birds

show examples

, and so on.

In addition

to that, peer pressure and family circumstances could contribute to activities like shooting. Teenagers and youngsters when swayed by their fellow mates,

then

could result in unethical behaviour, so young

people

indulge in shooting and in

fact

in other crimes as well.

Besides

this

, negative family situations where

people

suffer from depression-like symptoms can result in

shooting

Fix the agreement mistake

shootings

show examples

. In conclusion, increased shootings across different countries are not only

due to

the

fact

that

people

nowadays keep more guns at home, but other factors like negative influence from media, movies, and computerised games,

also

peer pressure and family situations can contribute well to shooting.

Submitted by harleenarora620 on Sat May 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, with clear main points and relevant arguments. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that each point is fully elaborated with more developed supporting details and specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay better by ensuring that each paragraph contains a single main idea with clear transitions between ideas. This will help improve the overall coherence and make your arguments easier to follow.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay, making your position clear from the beginning.

supported main points

The essay covers different perspectives on the topic, which shows a balanced approach to discussing the issue at hand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Download Free PDF
11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

shootings
guns
increase
home
accidental
domestic violence
easy access
impulsive
violence
gun control laws
gun violence
ownership
regulated
misuse
public safety

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Workers may face a challenging decision while determining whether to remain with their current company or transition to a new one in order to seek personal growth and development. I am inclined to endorse workers who seek diverse experiences by working in alternative institutions.
7
band
Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?
In this ultra-modern world, protecting wild animals at any cost is some people's goal and some other people think this is a big mistake. This essay will illustrate the opinions of persons who agree with this argument and people who don't.
7.5
band
Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
We live in an age when a medical system is essential these days. Nevertheless, private hospitals charge expensive fees for medical treatments to citizens. Despite its disadvantages, I firmly believe that there will be positive impacts on people who need private services.
6.5
band
Some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that improving public transportation systems can help alleviate traffic congestion and reduce air pollution. While it is a commonly held belief that private cars offer more convenience and freedom, there is also an argument that investing in efficient and accessible public transportation can provide a reliable and sustainable alternative. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
<4
band
Apartment Security Survey You live in an apartment building. The apartment management wants to improve the security of the building. One option is to install a new lock in each apartment, the other option is to install more security cameras in the building. The management is surveying your opinion on these security improvement plans. Option A: I choose to have a new lock for my apartment. Option B: I choose to have more cameras in the building.
The topic of apartment security has sparked a debate and controversy. I opine that a new lock is an apropos option due to the prevention of stealing.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.