some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

Whilst many think that
professionals
must stay in the
country
where they have completed their professional degree and internship, I believe that they must be free to move around the world as per their wish because , in
this
way, they can reach their maximum potential and can
also
earn more money.
To begin
with the first point of view,
people
think that
professionals
like doctors and engineers owe a debt to the
country
they trained in, so it is their moral responsibility and obligation to stay in the same
country
and serve the local public.
Moreover
, by residing in the same
country
these workers can fill the required workforce.
Also
,
people
with these degrees have higher salaries, and
people
with higher pay
also
have to pay more taxes to the government, and
this
is the way to boost the
country
's economy.
In addition
to
this
,
professionals
like doctors were most in demand during COVID-19 times, and the host
country
always these
people
to stay in its
country
to serve
people
if the pandemic-like situation arises.
On the contrary
, I support the latter argument that
people
with these professional degrees must be free to relocate anywhere around the world because
this
would aid them to reach their maximum potential. These jobs are the most demanding jobs across the globe and these graduate holders are considered skilled workers, and by moving to the nation as per their desire they can refine their skills as
this
would assist them with upgrades in their fields.
Besides
this
, they
also
have the freedom to earn as much as they can, and many countries reward these skilled workers with high remuneration and other benefits. In conclusion,
although
it is considered a moral obligation for these
professionals
to stay in the
country
where they trained , I am still convinced that they should have the freedom to move to the
country
they are interested in
due to
high earnings and demand.
Submitted by harleenarora620 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by addressing both views and offering your own opinion, which is a strong point in your task response. However, including more specific examples to support your points would enhance your argument further.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure, try to work on cohesiveness by using linking words and phrases more effectively. This will help in making your transitions between ideas smoother.
general
Be careful with grammatical accuracy and punctuation to ensure clarity in your writing. For instance, avoid comma splices and ensure you're using full stops correctly. This will improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the two points of view and your own opinion, which sets a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and restates your opinion, which reinforces your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You've made a good effort to cover multiple facets of the argument, such as moral responsibility, economic impact, skill refinement, and personal freedom.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory service
  • skill shortages
  • societal welfare
  • exchange of knowledge
  • global advancements
  • diverse experiences
  • career development prospects
  • personal satisfaction
  • feeling trapped
  • productivity
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: